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STICKY:
A Simple Thank You
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Hello Everyone, As the founder and webmaster of Miracles In Progress I want to extent a personal "Thank You" to each of you for valuing and utilizing the CoDA portion of our site. As we grow in our recoveries from alcoholism, addiction, or being a family member of a loved one who suffers from this di...
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John
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15
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6359
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End of step one in work book
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Hi all our step study group has just come to the end of step one in the work book. The last question was am I powerless over my co dependency it was a very awakeing moment for me. Part of my sickness is that I focus outside of me. I do not know if I have truley deeply accpeted that i am ill. that I am addicted t...
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tracy
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0
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12
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ITM, I let go of my ways of coping that don't work.
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When I feel tense & frustrated, I ask myself, "Is what I'm doing to cope working? Is it making things better?" The answer is usually "No!" I'm trying to fix the unfixable. When my controlling & caretaking aren't working, all I need is to let go. As tension & frustrat...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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12
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In This Moment, I am whole.
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I am one with the universe. I am a complete being. I reach to connect with my Higher Power. I wish to know my soul's aspirations. I feel strength from within to heal from within. I know another human being won't complete me. My Higher Power completes me. I am whole. I am one. I am worthy of love. CoDA Daily Me...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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10
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ITM, I seek balance.
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I'm aware I need to find balance between extremes. I want to be kind, not smothering, be truthful, not brutally frank, be generous, not enabling, control my own behaviour, not another's, be an example of recovery & not lapse into the trait of codependency. I know my Higher Power is there to help me...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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11
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In This Moment, I comfort myself.
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I was a lonely child. My parents couldn't give me the love I needed. I've been lonely ever since. Desperately grasping at others to fill the void. It was very painful until I learned new behaviours in CoDA. Now when I'm sad, lonely, or scared, I do something different. I reach within, I hug my pillow &...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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19
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ITM, I have a safety net.
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I have a favourite picture of my 2 year old grandson swinging on monkey bars. He has his "higher power," his dad ready if he slips & his "fellowship," grandma cheering him on. I recall how it felt hanging from monkey bars scared to reach for the next rung. Stuck. I've come to be...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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13
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ITM, I focus on the present.
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An important lesson I've learned is that "what if" & "if only" don't belong in my vocabulary. When the committee in my head fills me with fear & anxiety, I maintain my sanity & serenity by focusing on the present. "What if" projects to the future, which I...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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18
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Dimensions of Healthy Sexuality
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All this work to do in recovery, learning, accepting, changing ... So many different areas - communication, boundaries, self care and so on. My sexuality is something I have avoided like the plague when working on my codependency. It is such a fear based area for me considering my distant and rece...
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willing
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1
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38
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In This Moment, I start anew.
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Pre recovery, I spent many years hiding, never being honest wt anyone - family, friends, colleagues, myself, & most of all, God. I didn't even know I was being dishonest. All of my self-centredness, self-pity & self-will had to go. As a result of working the 3rd Step, I surrendered my will &am...
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lilmzsparkles
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2
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45
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ITM, I love & accept my mother.
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I was a low priority on my mother's list. When I metaphorically said "knock, knock," I heard no response. There was no sharing of anything meaningful, no intimacy between us. Now, with my mother older, our relationship is evolving. My mother talks to me & even expresses feelings. I li...
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lilmzsparkles
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2
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36
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Women please watch ...
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Open www.youtube.com Search for TEDxFiDiWomen. Watch every video you can find.
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willing
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3
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93
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ITM, I'm grateful for meetings.
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After several years, I keep coming back to meetings. It seems like whenever I think about not going, my Higher Power hits me with a crisis - sometimes big, sometimes only big in my mind. Meetings & fellowship help keep things in perspective. Listening to others, including newcomers, reminds me I...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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28
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Breaking the Cycle
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It appears that my daughter is making the same choices I did. It is heart wrenching to watch. I just watched her boyfriend get extremely upset about a very small thing, the upset you see in unhealthy people. I remember the first time I saw it so clearly. I remember exposing her to it and non-verbally...
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willing
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2
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72
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One Change at a Time
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... can lead to a healthier life. I am finding it so true for my overall health - emotional and physical. We can easily become overwhelmed with all the things we want to change. Couple of examples: Expressing my feelings. That was a hard and scary thing to do and took a lot of practice (and still does at...
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willing
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2
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75
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I did not Rescue
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Well, it has been awhile since I posted, but I do admit I have come on and lurked a bit since I was here last. I decided it was time to REALLY read Codependent No More. I had skimmed parts of it in the past and absorbed some knowledge into my head, but at that time I wasn't ready for it to absorb into my heart an...
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mime
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2
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84
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ITM, I'm doing the work.
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Recovery work is often tedious, difficult, & uncomfortable. I made a vow to learn something I wasn't good at. I attended a dance class. After 30 mins of discouragement, I left. 6mths later I went back, determined to succeed. Again I felt awkward. I felt defeated by 2 left feet. Recovery taught me t...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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32
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ITM, I see good as well as bad.
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Step 4 asks me to take a searching & fearless moral inventory of myself, including my good & bad points. Parts I value & parts I wish to change. If I'm not sure, I write anyway. My sponsor may have insight in my 5th Step. The hardest part is breaking through denial. I can't note what I'm unawar...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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23
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In This Moment, I feel heard.
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Before meetings the 'no talk' rule led my life. It's safe to talk in CoDA meetings. Sharing is healing for me. When I led a meeting, I told the story of my moral, personal, professional failures. People didn't shun me; they gave me hugs. They appreciated my honesty & urged me to "keep coming ba...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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27
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mistake
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I got intimate with my exbf last week after being serperated for ten weeks after a night out with the girls. He is now saying he has gone back to Aa and wants us to sort it all out. I am so stupid , I am full of fear I can not do this anymore. I have just started to feel a little better after grieving for 10 weeks. ...
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tracy
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1
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58
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In This Moment, I am.
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I exist. I am no longer a cringing shadow in the corner. I am substantial. I have a presence. I have personality, character, & personal style. I matter. I am free to be me, up front & in the open. I am an integral part of the universe. I am needed. I am here to fulfill my purpose on this earth. I am uniq...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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32
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In This Moment, I am.
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I exist. I am no longer a cringing shadow in the corner. I am substantial. I have a presence. I have personality, character, & personal style. I matter. I am free to be me, up front & in the open. I am an integral part of the universe. I am needed. I am here to fulfill my purpose on this earth. I am uniq...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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28
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ITM, I am willing to change.
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In the past, I thought my life would be better if other people changed. But that didn't happen & I was miserable. I hoped to learn how to change other people. What a surprise to find out I was the one who had to change! Now, when I say the Serenity Prayer, I concentrate on "the wisdom to know the dif...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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35
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Detachment 1A
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I have been around 12 step meeting rooms for a long time, and have heard many versions or definitions of Detachment. In my lifetime, I have detached from toxic family members, however, I did it all wrong. I just didn't speak to them and cut off contact with them without any explanation. I felt very ri...
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gottasayit
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2
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89
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Sifting the fantasy from the reality
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I still haven't contacted my partner (ex-partner?) and have been trying to bring the focus back to me each time I start obsessing, which is pretty much every waking moment... I haven't phoned or been to visit him. He phoned again yesterday, and wanted to tell me how he was feeling. This hasn't been s...
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Freya
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8
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756
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In This Moment, I just do it.
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I'm working to gain confidence in my ability to make the right decisions & to say the right things at the right times. I believe the answers are within me, so I wonder why I don't trust myself at times. Friends & family encourage me, God believes in me, & yet I often doubt their good opinion. W...
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lilmzsparkles
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1
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62
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ITM, I am lovable, loving & loved.
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Sometimes my heart feels closed. I can't feel the love that others, including my Higher Power, have for me. In recovery, I learn to trust. When I open myself up in safety, my heart opens as well. I realize I am lovable. This love expands over time, & through my Higher Power, I feel a new passion for my f...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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36
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ITM, I recognise that conflict can be good.
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Controversy & conflict are things I often preferred to avoid. Working through these uncomfortable feelings, I've learned there are healthy ways to address issues. If I don't like how meetings are held, literature is distributed or monies spent, I can ask for & join in group conscience. Th...
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lilmzsparkles
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1
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55
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ITM, I look in the mirror & see myself.
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I never thought to make amends to myself while looking into a mirror, as the CoDA book suggests. When I looked in a mirror, I saw a person, but I never saw myself. A fellowship friend mentioned doing a 5th Step in the mirror. When I did, I touched some of my self-abandonment, self-neglect, & self-abu...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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41
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In This Moment, I trust myself.
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In my childhood, breaches of trust seriously impacted my self-esteem & ability to trust my gut instincts. I grew up thinking I must trust automatically. When others broke my trust, I was confused & upset. I wondered what I had done wrong to cause them to be dishonest. I know now I'm not respons...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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39
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