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Daily Meditation ~ Taking Care of Ourselves.
(Preview)
We cannot simultaneously set a boundary and take care of another person's feelings. It's impossible; the two acts contradict. What a tremendous asset to have compassion for others! How difficult that same quality can make it to set boundaries! It's good to care about other people and their feeling...
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Danielle
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9
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1022
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I am in a friendship dillema :( Thoughts?
(Preview)
Hey all. I have a little dilemma right now, however maybe I need to reframe it into something positive and think of it as a new learning experience. Since I am new to learning about codependance and that I am codependant, I have really been much more aware of my friendships. Particularly in one wher...
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daisy31
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Daily Meditation ~ Letting Go of the Past
(Preview)
... in thy book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me when as yet there was none of them. —Ps. 139:16 Some people believe that each of our days were planned, Divinely Ordered, before we were born. God knew, they say, and planned exactly what was to transpire. Others suggest we...
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lilmzsparkles
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412
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Step Study - Step 11
(Preview)
"Whatever satellite goals may be found in life, the singular intent is always the soul's process of becoming one with the Self and God. Be comforted and walk your life in Light and trust, for nothing will come to you that is not meant to be." -Emmanuel's Book Step Eleven: Sought through pra...
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willing
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Daily Meditation ~ Holding Your Own
(Preview)
Trust yourself. Trust what you know. Sometimes, it is hard to stand in our own truth and trust what we know, especially when others would try to convince us otherwise. In these cases, others may be dealing with issues of guilt and shame. They may have their own agenda. They may be immersed in denial. The...
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lilmzsparkles
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Daily Meditation ~ Morning Cues
(Preview)
There is an important message for us first thing every day. Often, once we get started with the day, we may not listen as closely to life and ourselves as we do in those still moments when we first awaken. An ideal time to listen to ourselves is when we are laying quietly, our defenses are down, and we're op...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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677
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Feeling Alone
(Preview)
I want to know what everyone does when they're feeling alone. I had made plans for this week which were cancelled, and so I had some time off without much to do. My friends are busy, and I understand that. I caught up on a few things and used the time in a reasonably productive way, but now I am feeling so l...
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SugarBee
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11
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Understanding More Now
(Preview)
Hi, I have been on and off at times since this board started not fully understanding the gravity of being codependent. It hit me a few weeks ago now, that I let my recovery in Overeaters anon go to the way side. For myself, my program includes eating 3 healthy meals a day and abstaining from foods that my b...
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Tracey C
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3
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472
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Daily Meditation ~ Our Good Points
(Preview)
What's a codependent? The answer's easy. They're some of the most loving, caring people I know. —Beyond Codependency We don't need to limit an inventory of ourselves to the negatives. Focusing only on what's wrong is a core issue in our codependency. Honestly, fearlessly, ask: "What's righ...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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367
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Beginning the work
(Preview)
Usually those of us who enter a 12 step recovery program are not at our best ... We are beaten down and hurting so badly that we are ready to grab onto anything to make it stop. For years we may have been grabbing onto substances, behaviors, or people to make this pain go away. Suddenly we are given a gift...
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willing
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Daily Meditation ~ Payoffs from Destructive Relationships
(Preview)
Sometimes it helps to understand that we may be receiving a payoff from relationships that cause us distress. The relationship may be feeding into our helplessness or our martyr role. Maybe the relationships feeds our need to be needed, enhancing our self-esteem by allowing us to feel in control or...
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lilmzsparkles
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2
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858
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Letting Go of the one you love...
(Preview)
Sometimes in relationships, we come to a point where we realize that the relationship has become unhealthy and destructive to our emotional, physical, or spiritual well being. It is a painful realization, and often we try many things to try to make things work and hold on a lot longer than perhaps int...
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John
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19
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Perceived as Unselfish (Denial Pattern)
(Preview)
Hi, I am fascinated by the Recovery Patterns of codependence. I am amazed at how many of them describe my own behaviors. John (founder of MIP) has requested more activity on this CoDA board. For my contribution, every few days, I will post a different pattern of codependency. I encourage everyo...
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nice4ever
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Taking other people's inventory
(Preview)
I am a rule follower. When the program or any other thing says "do this" or "don't do that" I take it so literally and seem to miss the point. Now that isn't to say that I don't break the rules on occasion, and in the case of taking other people's inventory I have fallen short. I hav...
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willing
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Need others approval on FB
(Preview)
Hello all. I am a little embarrassed to write this but I am going to anyway. I have noticed that I really seem to need everyone's approval in my life. The thing I am really noticing is that I use facebook to gain approval for myself. I know it sounds silly to you all. This is what I do. I will write a stat...
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daisy31
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7
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855
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Seeing what is right there ...
(Preview)
Recently I was turning a problem over in my mind. It was an unavoidable problem, but it brought up a pretty big challenge that in my past I would have gotten so stressed about it would make me sick. Now I am not making myself sick. I turn it over in my mind, look at all the options, the outcome doesn't seem...
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willing
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Daily Meditation ~ Throwing Out the Rulebook
(Preview)
Many of us feel like we need a rulebook, a microscope, and a warranty to get through life. We feel uncertain, frightened. We want the security of knowing what's going to happen, and how we shall act. We don't trust life or ourselves. We don't trust the Plan. We want to be in control. "I've made terri...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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353
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Book Study: Codependent No More - Chapter 11
(Preview)
Chapter 11: have a love affair with yourself This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, though 'canst not then be false to any man. - William Shakespeare Many codependents don't like themselves. We don't like how we look, we think we are stupid, untalented and so...
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willing
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4572
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Step Study - Step 10
(Preview)
"I do Step Ten all the time. Too much, I think. Admitting I was wrong was very, very difficult for me in the beginning. Now, I still don't like to have to do it, but I do it anyway." - Beth M Step Ten: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it." - St...
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willing
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Daily Meditation ~ Learning to Wait
(Preview)
I've started to realize that waiting is an art, that waiting achieves things. Waiting can be very, very powerful. Time is a valuable thing. If you can wait two years, you can sometimes achieve something that you could not achieve today, however hard you worked, however much money you threw up in the ai...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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466
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Book Study: Codependent No More - Chapter 10
(Preview)
Chapter 10 - Live your own life Live and let live. - Twelve Step program slogan "If I make one point in this book, i hope it is that the surest way to make ourselves crazy is to get involved in other people's business, and the quickest way to become sane and happy is to tend to our own affairs." The...
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willing
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Step Study - Step 9
(Preview)
From the Book Codependents' Guide to the Twelve Steps by Melody Beattie. "You are not responsible for the programming you picked up in childhood. However, as an adult, you are one hundred perecnt responsible for fixing it." -Ken Keyes, Jr., The Power of Unconditional Love Step Nine: Ma...
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willing
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new and lost
(Preview)
hey everyone i am tracey and this is my first post on this site. i am not a stranger to 12 step groups, i am a memeber of AA for 5 half yrs. i also grew up in alcoholic home and have no problem admitting to co dependancy. i feel really lost in my recovery and the pattern i am relating to alot lately is when there is...
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tracey34
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3
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422
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Daily Meditation ~ Finding Direction
(Preview)
I used to spend so much time reacting and responding to everyone else that my life had no direction. Other people's lives, problems, and wants set the course for my life. Once I realized it was okay for me to think about and identify what I wanted, remarkable things began to take place in my life. —Anony...
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lilmzsparkles
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5
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What do I owe?
(Preview)
Was journaling today and here is what I came up with. Would love to hear from others. It was pretty empowering. What do you owe ... or NOT owe? I owe myself love and respect. I owe others courtesy and compassion. I owe those who depend on me dependability and responsibility. I owe myself care and bou...
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willing
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0
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450
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The next steps in recovery
(Preview)
To People in recovery The 12 after 12 is an asset-based recovery program. This second set of steps, derived from a traditional twelve step program, places a strong emphasis on what is working for us in recovery. We identify and strengthen our assets of character, those innate qualities that make r...
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12aftfer12
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1
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503
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Daily Meditation ~ Getting Through the Discomfort
(Preview)
Surrender to the pain. Then learn to surrender to the good. It's there and more is on the way. —Beyond Codependency Our goal in recovery is to make us feel comfortable, peaceful, and content. Happy. We want to be at peace with our environment and ourselves. Sometimes, to do that, we need to be willing t...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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406
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Daily Meditation ~ Be Who You Are
(Preview)
In recovery; we're learning a new behavior. It's called Be Who You Are. For some of us, this can be frightening. What would happen if we felt what we felt, said what we wanted, became firm about our beliefs, and valued what we needed? What would happen if we let go of our camouflage of adaptation? What wou...
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lilmzsparkles
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3
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I thought if I could help others in worse situations..
(Preview)
so I go to my first volunteer training class tonight, because I wanted to work/volunteer at a women's shelter..and what happens? when one of the speakers/teacher talks about the affect that physical/mental abuse takes on the children..I start to cry!!! and I couldn't pull myself together, so I ju...
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shrinkingviolet
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8
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693
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Daily Meditation ~ Not A Victim
(Preview)
You are not a victim. How deeply ingrained our self-image as a victim can be! How habitual our feelings of misery and helplessness! Victimization can be like a gray cloak that surrounds us, both attracting that which will victimize us and causing us to generate the feelings of victimization. Victim...
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lilmzsparkles
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1
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543
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