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Hi Everyone,

I was a member here a few years ago now.  Back then this board didn't really resonate with myself.   These days things are a bit different now.  I seem to be looking more into my acoa and coda side of my life.  

Lately I've been drawn to a lady called Lisa Romano.  She has a book out called Co-Dependent - Now What.  It's opening up my eyes to things and her you-tube videos and facebook posts are helping me a lot.  Has anyone else read or watched her?



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 I have seen Lisa on You-tube... she has a strong personality. Pia Mellody too. Have you read her???

I still always prefer Melody Beattie... I followed her through as she wrote her two key books.

 Also Anne Wilson Schaef- who gave codependency a wider context.

 

This is not my primary group- but I pop in here, from time to time... Part of the Miracle in Progress family   smile...



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I bought a book of Melody's a few years ago after reading about it on here. It didn't click for me at the time. Who knows it may click now though

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 I was in an Alanon group- the only guy in the group. Group members studied "Women who love too much" And then "Codependent no more". The first book is by Robin Norwood. To do this study the members formed a separate group, outside of Alanon.

Not to be outdone I studied the books too... on my own. So I got to see Melody, in her journey, as her two book unfolded... a good vantage point.

I suspected that men were just as susceptible to codependent behaviour as women. For me, anyway.... Most likely a deep sense of abandonment in our early life- and attempts to bright the emotional gap... not successful, until we are ready to meet our our own emotional needs. ????



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Hey There wrote:

Hi Everyone,

I was a member here a few years ago now.  Back then this board didn't really resonate with myself.   These days things are a bit different now.  I seem to be looking more into my acoa and coda side of my life.  

Lately I've been drawn to a lady called Lisa Romano.  She has a book out called Co-Dependent - Now What.  It's opening up my eyes to things and her you-tube videos and facebook posts are helping me a lot.  Has anyone else read or watched her?


 Thanks for the lead.  It's been many years since I did any support group work and I am happy to see that the new teachers are no longer AFRAID to point to inadequate parenting/parents to explain how and why some children are mentally damaged when they are defenseless.  When I was doing emotional work, it was still taboo to "BLAME" one's parents or as one woman said, "Bash" parents.  I guess it was thought that emotionally damaged children just need to BLAME them selves (or genetics) for "getting" that way.  I found Lisa both informative and easy to follow since she keeps it simple and REAL.  She had me in tears and I haven't wept in years!  Maybe I still need to do some more Recovery work on my unhealed "issues"? 



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DavidG wrote:

 

 I was in an Alanon group- the only guy in the group. Group members studied "Women who love too much" And then "Codependent no more". The first book is by Robin Norwood. To do this study the members formed a separate group, outside of Alanon.

Not to be outdone I studied the books too... on my own. So I got to see Melody, in her journey, as her two book unfolded... a good vantage point.

I suspected that men were just as susceptible to codependent behaviour as women. For me, anyway.... Most likely a deep sense of abandonment in our early life- and attempts to bright the emotional gap... not successful, until we are ready to meet our our own emotional needs. ????


 I started off in ACA and gradually tried CODA, INCEST SURVIVORS,  AA and finally Al-anon.  At Al-anon and also AA, I found a very embittered resistance to looking at or talking about one's childhood and especially one's parents and parenting so I stayed with ACA where we were allowed to get honest about our parents and family conditioning.  ACA and Incest Survivors had the most honest and meaningful approach to childhood and family problems back then (about 30 years ago).  I learned that men  are just as susceptible to codependent behavior and every thing else as women - and for exactly the same reasons.  As I learned more and more about my own family and bad childhood, I could see why the other groups were so against looking at parents and parenting - IT JUST HURTS TOO MUCH!   Plus, a lot of the members of those groups were parents them selves so they automatically saw us ACAs as both menacing threats and spoiled brats.   It was never my intention to blame, abuse or take revenge on my parents.  I wanted to understand things and I found the most understanding and HEALING  in ACA, Incest Survivors and some in CODA where there was a courageous desire to LOOK at the family and parenting. 

 



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 Applies to guys, too...

                                   



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Omg!!!! I've never seen the video or actually listened to the words. It's true to life and horrible at the same time

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