I still do. Perfectionism racks my mind, as I constantly consider what others might think about some minor purchase. Or I'm obsessed about paying too much and spend way too much time looking for the best deal, once again thinking about that someone might ask. Then there's the fear of making a poor decision. I suffer from "analysis paralysis". I'll make up my mind after much deliberation, then instead of taking action, I'll put it off until tomorrow, and the next day go through the whole process all over again. This procrastination often costs me penalties of one sort or another.
This is exactly me. What to do, eat, watch, buy, it engulfs me so much most times I spend hours deciding and end up not doing anything. Ill think its a nice time to watch a movie then spend an hour reading the descriptions on netflix streaming that I wont get around to watching one. I dont know how to overcome this; I guess fear of making the wrong choice is my big issue here..
Steve, the way around it to force ourselves to make a decision (about less important thinqs) in a short defined period of time. I like auto projects. I've been doinq them since I was 16. I used to have to <--see check at least 4 auto parts stores to see who had the cheapest price on every part. This made afternoon minor auto repair take a whole weekend or possibly spill into the next week/weekend. I had/have to have an extra car so that I'm not forced to qet the one I'm workinq on back on the road for the next day. So now I force myself to just qo to the parts store and buy the parts. Or I'll just qo to a store and buy an appliance, knowinq I'll find it cheaper (or a better one for the same price) later.
-- Edited by Dean on Sunday 6th of March 2011 03:31:09 PM
My sponsor said that in a room full of white upper class alpha male republicans and every person in the room cringed including me
We're raised to do things perfectly, to be the best, to getter done, we're amurcan dammit, our daddies dint raise us that way
He (my sponsor) went on to explain that his sponsor told him that when he was procrastinating on his 4th step, that we suffer from perfectionism and get so frozen from fear we end up not doing anything at all, so it was OK to just do the best we can, and if it's done poorly, we always get a second chance, just do the best you can
By the end of his share every man in the room was nodding, including me, very liberating stuff
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it's not the change that's painful, it's the resistance to change that is painful
Mine isn't before the fact . . . it is after. I stress so badly about the money spent, what others are going to think. It is getting better. Used to stress about EVERYTHING after the fact - every conversation - every action. After working the steps a lot of that went away, I accept me for me - but the $$ thing still bothers me. I think it is 18 years of being a single mom and being a caretaker (not professionally). I think it is time to stop. Finally went on a little spending binge on ME! It was difficult but I did it and now I feel great. I work my butt off and everyone else benefits. It is time to take care of ME for a change.
The improvement on the heart-wrenching re-living of every deed, every interaction is astounding. It is amazing how much the steps helped me there.
Progress not perfection.
Linistea
-- Edited by Linistea on Sunday 6th of March 2011 06:34:06 PM
Yes, that's me. I take so long that in the end, it's too late. Things have gotten better through my work in another fellowship, but your description just hit the nail on the head for me so well. I need that perfect decision, at that perfect time, and am so felled by fear...all pretty classic stuff.