I just went on a wonderful vacation and it seemed to have a theme, which usually happens without any effort.
The theme for me was "being present". We put a lot of miles on the car and went to so many fantastic places. I would often remind myself to be present. Stop. Smell, feel, experience where I was that moment ... don't let mind noise get in the way. At one point we were eating Thai food (LOVED IT!) and he asked "why are you smiling?" I didn't even realize I was. My answer "I am just being present, experiencing this moment without any distractions."
A friend of his said something to him while we were traveling that got me really thinking about being present. "It is hard to 'act as if' if I am 'acting as is'. It seemed to upset the apple cart with my being present theme and rattled around in my noodle a bit.
If I understand the idea around acting as if, one would be doing a certain behavior, practicing, until it becomes habit. That is all fine. But if someone is in the middle of drama or hardship, having a difficult time emotionally and uses 'acting as if' in that situation, are they really being present? Are they accepting what is happening to them right at that moment? Experiencing it, working through the emotions? Perhaps acting as if comes into play in their actions/responses to the drama even if their emotions are not playing along. Practicing new behaviors when our mind and heart are still calling on old ones. That makes sense. I was working it into an escape from difficult situations. Kind of "playing pretend", but perhaps not.
Well, seems my putting it down on virtual paper has helped me clear it up in my mind a little ... doesn't mean it is right but reconcilable for me.
Here is an interesting video on being present. It is something I practice many times a day.
Wow I've been reading a book about this very thing. It is all about accepting where we are, right here, right now. This helps us then to progress to the next step. If we're battling away, trying to fight this and that, it's very hard to be going with the flow.
The name of the book is "The Astonishing Power of Emotions" Let Your Feelings Be Your Guide by Esther and Jerry Hicks. Very powerful stuff.
I havent read that book but I have another book of theirs and I have a daily thoughts calendar by them to. Great stuff to get you thinking for the day. Sometimes I think you shouldnt 'act as if'..i feel you would be deceiving yourself about how you really feel
The behavior we call "acting as if" can be a powerful recovery tool. Acting as if is a way to practice the positive. It's a positive form of pretending. It's a tool we use to get ourselves unstuck. It's a tool we make a conscious decision to use. Acting as if can be helpful when a feeling begins to control us. We make a conscious decision to act as if we feel fine and are going to be fine. When a problem plagues us, acting as if can help us get unstuck. We act as if the problem will be or already is solved, so we can go on with our life. Often, acting as if we are detached will set the stage for detachment to come in and take over. There are many areas where acting as if - combined with our other recovery principles - will set the stage for the reality we desire. We can act as if we love ourselves, until we actually do begin to care for ourselves. We can act as if we have a right to say no, until we believe we do. We don't pretend we have enough money to cover a check. We don't pretend an alcoholic is not drinking. We use acting as if as part of our recovery, to set the stage for our new behaviors. We force ourselves through positive recovery behaviors, disregarding our doubts and fears, until our feelings have time to catch up with reality. Acting as if is a positive way to overcome fears, doubts, and low self-esteem. We do not have to lie; we do not have to be dishonest with ourselves. We open up to the positive possibilities of the future, instead of limiting the future by today's feelings and circumstances. Acting as if helps us get past shaky ground and into solid territory. "God, show me the areas where acting as if could help set the stage for the reality I desire. Guide me as I use this powerful recovery tool to help create a better life and healthier relationships." From The Language of Letting Go ~ Melody Beattie.
I agree its a great tool of recovery...I have been in different fellowships for many years and used it many times...I just think that sometimes I have to sit with a feeling even if it is a c**p one and own how I am feeling. As 'willing' said be in the real present for a while.