Now that my wife is recently sober I find myself angry
My wife has finally become sober for the last couple months, from being addicted to painkillers for two years. Now that she is sober, I am not focusing on putting out the fire.. meaning stoppingthe drug use, the money spending and trying to get her into a program. Now that she is there, I guess I find myself focusing more on me and she does she. Not in a good way. I find myself very angry, frustrated and resentful. I have been able to forgive a lot of the financial ruins she put us in (at least I think so, because she is working with me to fix it), but I am just so angry and bitter for what she has done. I find myself saying things to her and to myself about her that are very bad, mean and hurtful. Then, my response to her is negative, I assume bad things that she is using or acting weird. She is overly sensitive and actually being very narrow minded because everything I say or do is an attach on her. Either at our couples groups, at home, etc.
After meeting with our couples group for the first time a couples weeks ago, I am now realizing that I am a "codependent". I bought the "codependent no more book", read about half of it and it's helping. It was sort of a wake up call for me to realize that I have become a "codependent" even more so than ever, now that I know about her addiction.
Early recovery can be difficult for both partners. There is so much pain to work through, so many new behaviors to learn, so much forgiveness to work on for our partners and ourselves. The 12 steps are a wonderful tool and guide to help us do that.
I also noticed that you are reading Codependent No More. It was the first book I read when I started in recovery and really helped me understand what I was dealing with and how to heal.
We hope you keep coming back and sharing your journey with us. We are here to offer our Experience, Strength & Hope (what it was like, what happened, and what it is like now).
Willing
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Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.