My mind keeps bringing up old data of past events that keep me running a constant loop of failures that I have experienced in my life.
Un-less I learn to control these thoughts, they will just continue to play over and over again.
Working the step’s is very helpful early on to at least get me focused off other people.
I always thought that if the other person would just change a little life would be much better.
I could not envision how I could be part of the problem. I did X, Y, and Z in my relationship. Why did this person treat me so badly? Why did they leave me?
It’s not a quick fix program. And I did the short version. I read a lot, and also talked to people who could relate to how I felt.
I still have trust issues and not sure I will ever get into any serious relationship again. Partly due to my age, but mostly due to my past experiences in relationship.
Even though I hate the idea that I went through this thing called codependency. In a way I’m glad that I did. Before my relationship crashed and burned. I wasn’t really happy. The relationship just worked OK. After the initial break-up hurt was over. I feel free. Lonely…. but free.
Re-learning I can do anything by myself.
I would encourage new people to find a meeting or work the steps on their own if nothing else.
It will bring life back into one self, where it belongs.
