|
Newbie
(Preview)
Hi, Sarah here. I've thought about joining for years now but thankfully I had a nice long patch where I forgot I needed help. Unfortunately the past 2 days have been hell....i met my now husband 10 years ago. We were both extremely heavy drinkers. We started dating not long after that and the first year...
|
MissT
|
3
|
829
|
|
|
|
Welcome home
(Preview)
I have just joined this forum, after getting out of a short term relationship with a recovering alcoholic and realising that I had my own problems. Long story short, I left an abusive, controlling long term relationship 25 years ago. At the time I underwent counselling, did lots of work on myself and m...
|
Roxy
|
2
|
885
|
|
|
|
Hi, I'm new.
(Preview)
Hello everyone. I found this forum while looking for resources to help me work the Steps. I joined a NA group for those affected by a drug addict and it does touch on codependency but not to the degree I think it does here (from what I've read so far). Here's my story: In 2015, I started working on a new proje...
|
Steeni
|
2
|
895
|
|
|
|
New member here. I need some advice
(Preview)
Hey all, I know that I am codependent and have been one throughout my life. I am married to a functioning alcoholic (more than 8 years in marriage (two small kids) and almost 15 years in this relationship), his dad was an alcoholic and his mom is a workaholic so I guess we are both just adult children suffe...
|
Missy_A
|
2
|
834
|
|
|
|
What parts of this are codependent?
(Preview)
Trying to increase my awareness... Not sure how to consolidate this. I've been "seeing" a guy who is already in a long term relationship with someone else. We were friends first, then things just progressed. He has no intention of leaving to be with me, nor have I ever asked him to do so, especially sinc...
|
ape130
|
16
|
1257
|
|
|
|
the No Talk rule
(Preview)
In my recent marriage, (I'm a widower now) I dropped my tendency and need to openly talk about certain things in favor of keeping the peace and to be SAFE while not bugging my new/beloved partner who was somewhat sensitive to certain topics so I fell back into the "no talk" rule of Codependency and swep...
|
jimrich
|
8
|
980
|
|
|
|
What's wrong with me
(Preview)
I'm having a lot of trouble lately I've always been a very strong-willed woman but I've noticed over the last few years that my relationships with men are the things that I fall short in I need some advice and I've always been kind of busy with the way that I address things I'm trying very hard over the last...
|
Kristin
|
9
|
1058
|
|
|
|
Hello. I'm New - Obsessed With Unavailable Man
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
Hello. I am new here though many years ago when I lived in a different place, I went to a few CODA meetings which I liked, but nine here for over 300kms. I am in Australia in a small country town. I hope this doesn't come out wrong, but I am here through desperation. I've been very depressed and tearful....
|
blossoms103
|
62
|
3104
|
|
|
|
Coda Recovery while in relationship?
(Preview)
Hello. I am in a relationship and have been for over 7 years. I know i am codependent and have some other problems after having been brought up in a dysfunctional environment. She has cheated on me about 6 years ago years ago but i ended up staying with her after having left her for a short while. This year...
|
cooladd
|
2
|
1255
|
|
|
|
It's about a year since I last posted and I am back at the same point
(Preview)
I posted a year ago, my friend and I had an argument and I was not coping. Well we got back together but there is always this drama with him, if I dont do the right thing then he doesn't talk to me. We recently had a real big argument where he was just about to punch me because I was standing up to him. He apologi...
|
huggybear
|
4
|
939
|
|
|
|
Powerless over my dad
(Preview)
My spouse has been fighting end stage liver disease and was given the prognosis this week that she only has less than a year to live on this current liver. She's being put on the waiting list, but I know the waiting is excruciating and I don't want to think of if it doesn't get found in time. It's been a long,...
|
gabigail
|
3
|
950
|
|
|
|
Step 1
(Preview)
Hi I'm new to Coda - I've been sober for a number of years. In AA we talk about staying away from the first drink. Its the first drink that does the damage. What is the equivalent in Coda?
|
Chops
|
6
|
1289
|
|
|
|
At wits end
(Preview)
I am new here. I have never done anything like this before. I am married to a man with many addictions and it is ruining every relationship I have. I had a stroke 4 years ago due to tremendous stress and the loss of a step daughter. I also have MS and it is a trying journey of its own. His addictions run everyth...
|
mkelley
|
8
|
887
|
|
|
|
My marriage is falling apart
(Preview)
Let me start of by saying that I am very new to all of this. I’m just starting in my recovery process and honestly just recently realized how screwed up my childhood actually was. I’ve never posted anything on any message board before and I just started really even looking at them.I am in desperate need...
|
jay76
|
7
|
7178
|
|
|
|
From "dating" to "relationship" in ...one week.
(Preview)
I don't know why I can't do the dating thing. I try, I really do. But somehow casual dating zooms into the relationship zone for me all-too-naturally, without any effort whatsoever. I always start it out trying to "take it slow"... yeah right. That's like me trying to sip a shot of whiskey ou...
|
HeatherK
|
6
|
4339
|
|
|
|
Daily Meditation ~ Apologies
(Preview)
Sometimes, we act in a manner with which we are less than comfortable. That's human. That's why we have the words: "I'm sorry." They heal and bridge the gap. But we don't have to say, "I'm sorry" if we didn't do anything wrong. A sense of shame can keep us apologizing for everythin...
|
lilmzsparkles
|
2
|
1139
|
|
|
|
Why can't we love ourselves ...
(Preview)
... as much as we love others? That has been the question on my mind lately. Someone is treating my daughter poorly and mama bear is roaring! To see her hurting just tears my heart out and I look at her and how wonderful of a person she is and wonder "How could someone treat her this way? She is an amazing h...
|
willing
|
0
|
712
|
|
|
|
The skill of self confidence
(Preview)
|
willing
|
0
|
860
|
|
|
|
Good boundaries free you | Sarri Gilman | TEDxSnoIsleLibraries
(Preview)
One of the things I realized while I was watching this is that when I don't have good boundaries I am in MORE pain. I stress more and for a longer period of time. Even though I am worried at that time about suffering from someone elses anger for setting my boundaries, living in fear. I THINK I am avoiding...
|
willing
|
0
|
887
|
|
|
|
Having a very painful bottom
(Preview)
hi I am new I think I am what is called a love avoidant - since getting sober years ago I consistently involve myself with unavailable men -it's beyond painful right now. I have been attending CODA meetings where I live for a few months but this last man just took me to a very bad bottom - married. So sick an...
|
Webbyfooty1
|
4
|
834
|
|
|
|
Step Study - Step 4
(Preview)
Using the Codependents' Guide to the Twelve Steps by Melody Beattie Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. The author describes something many of us have probably experienced with the "Dreaded Fourth Step". Heading to a meeting and you find out that the topic is th...
|
Linistea
|
14
|
13698
|
|
|
|
This made me cry .... go figure.
(Preview)
https://www.facebook.com/glennondoylemelton/videos/vb.178909129709/10154418728709710/?type=2&theater
|
willing
|
0
|
800
|
|
|
|
Powerless over my qualifier
(Preview)
hi everyone-This weekend was interesting and eye-opening to my recovery. I so have a long way to go!I get a call at the hospital from my A that she needs me to come up immediately to the hospital. She's scared and she just needs to see me. This was on Friday and her friend that she's been staying with for...
|
gabigail
|
2
|
959
|
|
|
|
Daily Meditation ~ Leaving Room for Feelings
(Preview)
We need to allow enough room for others and ourselves to have and work through our feelings. We are people, not robots. An important part of us - who we are, how we grow, how we live - is connected to our emotional center. We have feelings, sometimes - difficult ones, sometimes disruptive ones, and somet...
|
lilmzsparkles
|
2
|
1315
|
|
|
|
Step Study - Step 8
(Preview)
"Playing the edge means being willing to go into the unknown. It means approaching that place where real growth occurs." ~Stephen and Ondrea Levine, Who Dies? Step Eight: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all." ~Step Eight of CoDA The...
|
willing
|
4
|
4603
|
|
|
|
Practising
(Preview)
Normally my life is sea deep in drama. I left this one job a few months ago after a five year saga of victimizatiom, merciless recrimination and very little return. Except really for year or two I existed on the pittance I earned there.
Pretty much I have been able to wash my hands if everyone there. I ha...
|
Maresie
|
6
|
909
|
|
|
|
PARTICIPATE IN A VERY IMPORTANT STUDY!!!!
(Preview)
Hello all. My name is Carly Rodgers and I am in the process of conducing a very important study centered around hope and attachment from a perspective that has yet to be looked at. If you'd like to participate, click on the link below. I've also attached the consent form if you so choose to look it over...
|
carlyrodgers
|
0
|
756
|
|
|
|
Powerless against people...at my rock bottom
(Preview)
I am married to an alcoholic, but our relationship is very codependent. My A lost her job this weekend. I have been relying on this income to pay bills. Now that medical bills are piling up, I’m in over my head. (My spouse has been in and out of the hospital for treatments for liver disease and has stop...
|
gabigail
|
3
|
895
|
|
|
|
Book Study: Codependent No More - Chapter 5
(Preview)
Detachment The author spent some time considering the topics for this chapter - the first chapter regarding the solution. She chose detachment not because it is most important, but because it is what we need to do first and what we need to do most frequently. Attachment "When a codependent say...
|
Linistea
|
6
|
6403
|
|
|
|
Help with starting-Online sponsor
(Preview)
Hi all, Does anyone know how I could get a sponsor online or how to find skype meetings. I've been codependent all my life and it makes life very lonely and difficult. I'm in recovery from other substances for years and know the 12 steps well but have never had any idea how I apply them to my codependence ev...
|
Burumba
|
5
|
2236
|
|
|