Miracles In Progress Codependents Anonymous Group - Miracles In Progress Codependents Anonymous Group

funny_face · funny_face

Hello all, How did you overcome your need for drama? I'm only experiencing it when it comes to close or romantic relationships. It's seems the only thing that's giving me a high enough that feeds my hunger for feelings, for love, for happiness, for acceptance, for safety. It's a great high but it's...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

CoDA offers me a safe space & the tools necessary to begin the healing process of recovery. Not every day is peaceful. Many are painful as I face & feel the frozen feelings from my past. Through an evolving recovery process, I gain ability to make & maintain healthy loving relationships,...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi, In the last day or so, I have acknowledged that a large portion of my day has been spent worrying about others. I am also seeing and feeling the difference this awareness has made. It seems my life has been focused on other people, leaving very little time to take care of the needs of myself and my chil...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

No feelings were expressed at home when I was a child. I learned not to feel. I developed ways to keep my feelings down. I'd get depressed instead of angry, anxious instead of scared or sad or over-eat. Now I'm learning it's ok to feel but it's still hard. If I feel depressed & anxious I still want to bi...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

I am a recovering codependent. I'm not stuck or doomed to be hopeless & helpless, forever repeating codependent patterns. I'm growing. I don't need to be "fixed". I transform my past hurt & pain into gifts of deeper understanding & empathy. I have hope for my future. What a gi...

upintheair22 · upintheair22

After 9+years of marriage to a "functional" alcoholic he seems to be a new man. I won't go into the long ugly history now but his recovery started when I had an "exit affair" 6 months ago. My affair devastated me and it has been difficult to come to grips with. On the other hand he say...

funny_face · funny_face

Hello every one, I am really enjoying my progress, my trip. This post is about boundaries, something as ALANON and Co-dependents have been trained NOT to have. We were repeatedly taught that our person is second best and our feelings don't matter. Therefore learning to set boundaries is about v...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Asking for help used to be so hard. I never asked. I didn't want to depend on anyone for fear they may let me down or refuse to help me. I couldn't risk it. I felt too vulnerable. In recovery, I can ask for help, first from my Higher Power & then from other people. I trust that help is available. I am no long...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

I see how negative experiences in my childhood fed my codependence. My elders said, "Look what you made me do," "God will get you for this," & "Anger is not ladylike." I felt responsible for other people's happiness & feared God. I became a people-pleaser a...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

One of my challenges in life & recovery is to stop replaying my childhood drama. There was no space for me. I felt "apart from" & "less than." I had no voice. In CoDA, I feel heard. I experience a sense of community within the fellowship. I feel connected to other members....

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

It took years to admit being codependent. I blamed others when relationships failed. I was OK; they were selfish. I expected them to be perfect. If they had defects I wanted to change them. In CoDA, I've learned I can only change me. I accept no one is perfect. Today, I love & accept others. I work on b...

willing · willing

feel your own feelings "When I repress my emotions, my stomach keeps score ..." ~ John Powell Codependents often turn their feelings off to avoid pain, to protect ourselves. Perhaps our family system doesn't allow us to express our feelings, so we never learn. It may even be dangerous f...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

The deep despair of this deafening quiet opens my heart to ask God, "Speak to me, please. What is it you want? Why is it so hard? What would you have me do in this moment right now? I feel lost. My relationship is troubled. Am I the aggressor? If so, I ask to have that defect removed." I work my prog...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

10th January 2012. Admit complete defeat? Not me! When I came to CoDA I was doing just fine on my own, thank you! The God I knew then was not kind or loving, so why would I admit anything to God? Now, I totally accept Step One. When I came to believe that a loving Higher Power is in charge, I became able to l...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

There are countless positive paths within the Steps. I cherish the 3rd Step, which gives me freedom to choose a God of my own understanding. At last, I feel free to choose. My codependence kept me stuck & fearful of making choices. Steps 1 & 2 give me the gift of hope there is a way out of my misery &...

willing · willing

Chapter 12 - Learn the Art of Acceptance I'd like to make a motion that we face reality. ~Bob Newhart, from the Bob Newhart Show Everyone is faced with accepting reality on a daily basis. Doing so is a lot easier if life is going well. When life is being difficult reality is more difficult to grasp. Wh...

daisy31 · daisy31

I have this nosy neighbor (and I mean extremely nosy) so I decided that I was going to delete her from my facebook page. Maybe that wasn't the best way to handle it but I am happy she's not on there anymore. She is VERY aware of anything I do so I am pretty sure she told my other neighbor that I deleted her be...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

18th January 2012. The icy fear that paralysed me is beginning to melt. Deep inside me resides a fiery strength & power. It lay dormant for years. Now, in recovery, it calls to me. I stand on my own two feet. I walk through the Twelve Steps. Sometimes the responsibility scares me, but it's also empow...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

16th January 2012. In my group's meeting room there is a glass-encased collection of beautiful & unusual dolls. As a codependent, I was like one of those dolls. I tried to be perfect & bent myself into any shape to be picked. I dressed up, sat on a shelf, & waited for someone to start my life....

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

17th January 2012. I wonder why "listening" isn't taught in school. No one taught me how to listen; often I felt nobody listened to me. I didn't know how to listen to others or even to myself. Since I've attended meetings, I'm learning to listen to others - really listen, instead of worrying...

nice4ever · nice4ever

Hi, I am fascinated by the Recovery Patterns of codependence. I am amazed at how many of them describe my own behaviors. For my contribution to an active forum, I will post a different pattern of codependency every few days. I encourage everyone to share on each topic. Sharing will help us all....

Books · Books

It hurts when you hear people call you controlling but that's what I am.I try real hard to allow my family to be responsible for their actions, I am not alway successful.I am a surivor of Child abuse, Sexual Child abuse, Domestic Abuse and my husband is in rehab for coaine abuse (addiction)I finally...

funny_face · funny_face

Hello everyone, It's time for me to tackle the next shadow in my life, Trust. I wasn't sure if I had trust issues or not, I thought I was actually trusting person, I seemed to rush in a heartbeat into relationships and into trusting people with more or less everything in my life. Obviously like any Al-a...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

14th January 2012. In recovery, I've discovered my favourite feeling: Joy. Before CoDA, feelings used to overwhelm me. I didn't know I had feelings. Now, I smile with awareness & rejoice in gratitude. A new spirit drives me. I don't doubt my authenticity; there is a new voice that I call my own. I f...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

13th January 2012. I've been thinking about how often I complain to my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God. I say things like, "I'm grateful for this, God, but..." or, "I know I'm powerless, but..." Then the thought came to me: Don't tell God what to do! I describe the issue, tu...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

11th January 2012. I take myself to lunch & don't feel lonely. I can enjoy me, by myself. One of the joys of recovery is learning to love the self. I don't always love or like me. I can feel ashamed & self-critical. But today I let go of all that. God intends us to be precious & free. I am. CoDA Dai...

willing · willing

http://coda.activeboard.com/t42180262/book-study-codependent-no-more...

funny_face · funny_face

Hello everyone,This post is about Courage & Shame. I've had the courage to step away physically from my family and not get caught in their problems or whirlwinds as they felt to me. I've gone past guilt for putting myself first, going against the martyrism I was taught. I still slip back into gu...

John · John

[video=]

Isi · Isi

Hi all I need a bit of advice. I am 39 and been divorced for three years i was with my husband since i was 16 so am very inexperienced when it comes to dating. I went to a party a week and a half ago and a man i knew slightly asked for my number which i gave as i did like him. He rang me the next day and we have been out th...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My trip - Love and Inner peace (Preview) Hello all, How did you overcome your need for drama? I'm only experiencing it when it comes to close or romantic relationships. It's seems the only thing that's giving me a high enough that feeds my hunger for feelings, for love, for happiness, for acceptance, for safety. It's a great high but it's...	funny_face	1	475	Feb 11, 2012 by willing
	ITM, I am deeply grateful to CoDA. (Preview) CoDA offers me a safe space & the tools necessary to begin the healing process of recovery. Not every day is peaceful. Many are painful as I face & feel the frozen feelings from my past. Through an evolving recovery process, I gain ability to make & maintain healthy loving relationships,...	lilmzsparkles	0	380	Feb 10, 2012 by lilmzsparkles
	relationships (Preview) Hi, In the last day or so, I have acknowledged that a large portion of my day has been spent worrying about others. I am also seeing and feeling the difference this awareness has made. It seems my life has been focused on other people, leaving very little time to take care of the needs of myself and my chil...	Tracey C	2	454	Feb 8, 2012 by dragonfly
	ITM, I'm learning who I am. (Preview) No feelings were expressed at home when I was a child. I learned not to feel. I developed ways to keep my feelings down. I'd get depressed instead of angry, anxious instead of scared or sad or over-eat. Now I'm learning it's ok to feel but it's still hard. If I feel depressed & anxious I still want to bi...	lilmzsparkles	1	395	Feb 8, 2012 by Tracey C
	In This Moment, I am healing. (Preview) I am a recovering codependent. I'm not stuck or doomed to be hopeless & helpless, forever repeating codependent patterns. I'm growing. I don't need to be "fixed". I transform my past hurt & pain into gifts of deeper understanding & empathy. I have hope for my future. What a gi...	lilmzsparkles	0	365	Feb 4, 2012 by lilmzsparkles
	What do I do with this? Need help (Preview) After 9+years of marriage to a "functional" alcoholic he seems to be a new man. I won't go into the long ugly history now but his recovery started when I had an "exit affair" 6 months ago. My affair devastated me and it has been difficult to come to grips with. On the other hand he say...	upintheair22	5	609	Feb 4, 2012 by lilmzsparkles
	My trip- Boundaries (Preview) Hello every one, I am really enjoying my progress, my trip. This post is about boundaries, something as ALANON and Co-dependents have been trained NOT to have. We were repeatedly taught that our person is second best and our feelings don't matter. Therefore learning to set boundaries is about v...	funny_face	2	455	Feb 4, 2012 by Tracey C
	In This Moment, I ask for help. (Preview) Asking for help used to be so hard. I never asked. I didn't want to depend on anyone for fear they may let me down or refuse to help me. I couldn't risk it. I felt too vulnerable. In recovery, I can ask for help, first from my Higher Power & then from other people. I trust that help is available. I am no long...	lilmzsparkles	0	539	Feb 3, 2012 by lilmzsparkles
	In This Moment, I turn to God. (Preview) I see how negative experiences in my childhood fed my codependence. My elders said, "Look what you made me do," "God will get you for this," & "Anger is not ladylike." I felt responsible for other people's happiness & feared God. I became a people-pleaser a...	lilmzsparkles	0	395	Jan 31, 2012 by lilmzsparkles
	In This Moment, I fit in. (Preview) One of my challenges in life & recovery is to stop replaying my childhood drama. There was no space for me. I felt "apart from" & "less than." I had no voice. In CoDA, I feel heard. I experience a sense of community within the fellowship. I feel connected to other members....	lilmzsparkles	2	401	Jan 31, 2012 by lilmzsparkles
	ITM, I accept my relationships. (Preview) It took years to admit being codependent. I blamed others when relationships failed. I was OK; they were selfish. I expected them to be perfect. If they had defects I wanted to change them. In CoDA, I've learned I can only change me. I accept no one is perfect. Today, I love & accept others. I work on b...	lilmzsparkles	0	413	Jan 28, 2012 by lilmzsparkles
	Book Study: Codependent No More - Chapter 13 (Preview) feel your own feelings "When I repress my emotions, my stomach keeps score ..." ~ John Powell Codependents often turn their feelings off to avoid pain, to protect ourselves. Perhaps our family system doesn't allow us to express our feelings, so we never learn. It may even be dangerous f...	willing	1	4751	Jan 27, 2012 by willing
	In This Moment, my heart is open. (Preview) The deep despair of this deafening quiet opens my heart to ask God, "Speak to me, please. What is it you want? Why is it so hard? What would you have me do in this moment right now? I feel lost. My relationship is troubled. Am I the aggressor? If so, I ask to have that defect removed." I work my prog...	lilmzsparkles	0	360	Jan 24, 2012 by lilmzsparkles
	In This Moment, I am not in control. (Preview) 10th January 2012. Admit complete defeat? Not me! When I came to CoDA I was doing just fine on my own, thank you! The God I knew then was not kind or loving, so why would I admit anything to God? Now, I totally accept Step One. When I came to believe that a loving Higher Power is in charge, I became able to l...	lilmzsparkles	10	667	Jan 24, 2012 by willing
	In This Moment, I have a loving guide. (Preview) There are countless positive paths within the Steps. I cherish the 3rd Step, which gives me freedom to choose a God of my own understanding. At last, I feel free to choose. My codependence kept me stuck & fearful of making choices. Steps 1 & 2 give me the gift of hope there is a way out of my misery &...	lilmzsparkles	0	384	Jan 23, 2012 by lilmzsparkles
	Book Study: Codependent No More - Chapter 12 (Preview) Chapter 12 - Learn the Art of Acceptance I'd like to make a motion that we face reality. ~Bob Newhart, from the Bob Newhart Show Everyone is faced with accepting reality on a daily basis. Doing so is a lot easier if life is going well. When life is being difficult reality is more difficult to grasp. Wh...	willing	3	3353	Jan 23, 2012 by willing
	Nosy neighbor issue...Thoughts? (Preview) I have this nosy neighbor (and I mean extremely nosy) so I decided that I was going to delete her from my facebook page. Maybe that wasn't the best way to handle it but I am happy she's not on there anymore. She is VERY aware of anything I do so I am pretty sure she told my other neighbor that I deleted her be...	daisy31	1	549	Jan 22, 2012 by lilmzsparkles
	ITM, I move into my strength & my power. (Preview) 18th January 2012. The icy fear that paralysed me is beginning to melt. Deep inside me resides a fiery strength & power. It lay dormant for years. Now, in recovery, it calls to me. I stand on my own two feet. I walk through the Twelve Steps. Sometimes the responsibility scares me, but it's also empow...	lilmzsparkles	0	418	Jan 19, 2012 by lilmzsparkles
	In This Moment, I am real. (Preview) 16th January 2012. In my group's meeting room there is a glass-encased collection of beautiful & unusual dolls. As a codependent, I was like one of those dolls. I tried to be perfect & bent myself into any shape to be picked. I dressed up, sat on a shelf, & waited for someone to start my life....	lilmzsparkles	2	422	Jan 19, 2012 by lilmzsparkles
	In This Moment, I am able to listen. (Preview) 17th January 2012. I wonder why "listening" isn't taught in school. No one taught me how to listen; often I felt nobody listened to me. I didn't know how to listen to others or even to myself. Since I've attended meetings, I'm learning to listen to others - really listen, instead of worrying...	lilmzsparkles	0	387	Jan 18, 2012 by lilmzsparkles
	Can't Always Identify Feelings (Denial Pattern) (Preview) Hi, I am fascinated by the Recovery Patterns of codependence. I am amazed at how many of them describe my own behaviors. For my contribution to an active forum, I will post a different pattern of codependency every few days. I encourage everyone to share on each topic. Sharing will help us all....	nice4ever	0	562	Jan 16, 2012 by nice4ever
	Finally a place where I belong (Preview) It hurts when you hear people call you controlling but that's what I am.I try real hard to allow my family to be responsible for their actions, I am not alway successful.I am a surivor of Child abuse, Sexual Child abuse, Domestic Abuse and my husband is in rehab for coaine abuse (addiction)I finally...	Books	4	430	Jan 16, 2012 by nice4ever
	My trip- Trust (Preview) Hello everyone, It's time for me to tackle the next shadow in my life, Trust. I wasn't sure if I had trust issues or not, I thought I was actually trusting person, I seemed to rush in a heartbeat into relationships and into trusting people with more or less everything in my life. Obviously like any Al-a...	funny_face	2	542	Jan 16, 2012 by funny_face
	ITM, I have a new voice. (Preview) 14th January 2012. In recovery, I've discovered my favourite feeling: Joy. Before CoDA, feelings used to overwhelm me. I didn't know I had feelings. Now, I smile with awareness & rejoice in gratitude. A new spirit drives me. I don't doubt my authenticity; there is a new voice that I call my own. I f...	lilmzsparkles	0	355	Jan 15, 2012 by lilmzsparkles
	In This Moment, I'm asking God. (Preview) 13th January 2012. I've been thinking about how often I complain to my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God. I say things like, "I'm grateful for this, God, but..." or, "I know I'm powerless, but..." Then the thought came to me: Don't tell God what to do! I describe the issue, tu...	lilmzsparkles	0	376	Jan 14, 2012 by lilmzsparkles
	ITM, I appreciate my own company. (Preview) 11th January 2012. I take myself to lunch & don't feel lonely. I can enjoy me, by myself. One of the joys of recovery is learning to love the self. I don't always love or like me. I can feel ashamed & self-critical. But today I let go of all that. God intends us to be precious & free. I am. CoDA Dai...	lilmzsparkles	0	390	Jan 12, 2012 by lilmzsparkles
	Book Study: "Codependent No More" - All Chapters to Date (Preview) http://coda.activeboard.com/t42180262/book-study-codependent-no-more...	willing	0	867	Jan 12, 2012 by willing
	My trip- Courage & Shame (Preview) Hello everyone,This post is about Courage & Shame. I've had the courage to step away physically from my family and not get caught in their problems or whirlwinds as they felt to me. I've gone past guilt for putting myself first, going against the martyrism I was taught. I still slip back into gu...	funny_face	3	472	Jan 11, 2012 by funny_face
	Happy New Year (video from John to you!) (Preview) [video=]	John	4	475	Jan 11, 2012 by Books
	why wont he tell his friends about us? (Preview) Hi all I need a bit of advice. I am 39 and been divorced for three years i was with my husband since i was 16 so am very inexperienced when it comes to dating. I went to a party a week and a half ago and a man i knew slightly asked for my number which i gave as i did like him. He rang me the next day and we have been out th...	Isi	3	431	Jan 10, 2012 by Books
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