Miracles In Progress Codependents Anonymous Group - Miracles In Progress Codependents Anonymous Group

shrinkingviolet · shrinkingviolet

so I go to my first volunteer training class tonight, because I wanted to work/volunteer at a women's shelter..and what happens? when one of the speakers/teacher talks about the affect that physical/mental abuse takes on the children..I start to cry!!! and I couldn't pull myself together, so I ju...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

You are not a victim. How deeply ingrained our self-image as a victim can be! How habitual our feelings of misery and helplessness! Victimization can be like a gray cloak that surrounds us, both attracting that which will victimize us and causing us to generate the feelings of victimization. Victim...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

We cannot afford to allow our focus in life to be money. That will not lead us into the abundance we're seeking. Usually, it will not even lead to financial stability. Money is important. We deserve to be paid what we're worth. We will be paid what we're worth when we believe we deserve to be. But often you...

willing · willing

I can expect a miraculous change in my life by working the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous. As I make an honest effort to work the Twelve Steps and follow the Twelve Traditions...I know a new sense of belonging. The feeling of emptiness and loneliness will disappear.I am no longer controlled by my...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Sometimes, after we begin recovery, things in our life seem to get worse for a time. Our finances, our relationships, or our health may seem to deteriorate. This is temporary; this is a normal part of recovery and healing. It may be the way things will be for a time, but not for long. Keep working at recov...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Even God cannot change the past. —Agathon Holding on to the past, either through guilt, longing, denial, or resentment, is a waste of valuable energy - energy that can be used to transform today and tomorrow. "I used to live in my past," said one recovering woman. "I was either tryin...

willing · willing

I have learned a lot about myself during recovery and in the process learned to love a lot of things about myself and identify a lot of things I would like to change. I work on those things daily. But I still felt I needed more insight and was mentioning this to a friend and they suggested I try one of the man...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Practice tolerance. Tolerate our quirks, our feelings, our reactions, our peculiarities, and our humanness. Tolerate our ups and downs, our resistance to change, and our struggling and sometimes awkward nature. Tolerate our fears, our mistakes, our natural tendency to duck from problems, and...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Many of us believed that heeding the words of God or our Higher Power meant following rigid rules, an instruction booklet for life. Many of us now believe differently. The rigid rules, the endless instructions, the exhortation to perfection, are not the words our Higher Power whispers. The words of...

willing · willing

Step 7: Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings. - Step Seven of CoDA The author talks about her overwhelming fear in her life. Fear of her past, God, recovery, people and herself. She was afraid of this step thinking that if she asked God to remove all her defects there would be nothing left. She s...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

In recovery, we're learning to let ourselves go! We're learning to be spontaneous. Spontaneity may frighten some of us. We may be afraid of the loss of control involved with spontaneity. We may still be operating under the codependent rules that prohibit spontaneity: be good; be right; be perfect;...

willing · willing

"I always learn the hard way. But come to think of it, so do most people. Rarely have I heard a person say, 'I learn the easy way.'" ~Gary E. Step Six: "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character." ~Step Six of CoDA The chapter begins with a woman telling...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

No matter how long we've been recovering, no matter how solid our spiritual ground, we may still feel an overwhelming desire at times to punish, or get even, with another person. We want revenge. We want to see the other person hurt the way he or she has hurt us. We want to see life deal that person just rew...

willing · willing

When I got into recovery my life was a mess. It just kept getting worse and worse no matter how hard I tried to fix my outsides. I thought that was all there was to fix. The harder I tried the deeper the hole I dug for myself. Recovery introduced the concept that I could change myself. Not my income level...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

When we are soul searching, be it for the smaller or larger decisions we face during the day, we can learn to ask, is this good for me?... Is this what I really want?... Is this what I need?...Does this direction feel right for me?...or am I succumbing to the control and influence that I sometimes allow ot...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

We should learn not to grow impatient with the slow healing process of time. We should discipline ourselves to recognize that there are many steps to be taken along the highway leading from sorrow to renewed serenity... We should anticipate these stages in our emotional convalescence: unbearable...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Most of us want to be liked. We want other people to think of us as nice, friendly, kind, and loving. Most of us want the approval of others. Since childhood, some of us have been trying to get approval, trying to get people to like us and think highly of us. We may be afraid people will leave us if they disapp...

KarenL · KarenL

This is a long one. Thanks for reading. Here's a little background: My mom has schizophrenia. My grandmother has had some sort of mental breakdown in the past because I remember my parents making references to it, but like my mom's illness we "don't talk about it". If you don't talk abou...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Some of my feelings have been stored so long they have freezer burn. —Beyond Codependency There are many sources of pain in our life. Those of us recovering from adult children and codependency issues frequently have a cesspool of unresolved pain from the past. We have feelings, sometimes from ear...

shrinkingviolet · shrinkingviolet

I feel so stupid...here's the Reader's Digest version.. for the past two months I was dating a guy that "said" that he was falling in love with me..problem was, there were a few HUGE red flags that were screaming at me, and yet, I kept hanging in there...trusting an untrustworthy person....

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Step Ten says: "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." It does not suggest that we ignore what is right in our life. It says we continue to take a personal inventory and keep a focus on ourselves. When we take an inventory, we will want to look for ma...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

I know I'm controlling, but so is my husband. Possibly more controlling than I am. Each time I set out to leave him, each time I started to walk away, he knew exactly what to say to pull me back in. And he knew I'd respond. He knew how to say exactly what I needed to hear to keep me where he wanted me. He knew what...

tracy · tracy

Hi everyone, really needed to come on here and share. I went to a meeting last night. People shared about their childhoods. In my share I said my childhood was good (i do have lots of good memeories of childhood my dad had lots of time for me). I said that my co dependency came from my mother and grandmot...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Sometimes we get what we want right away. At other times, we wonder if our desires will ever be fulfilled. We will be fulfilled in the best way possible and as quickly as possible. But some things take time. Sometimes, we have lessons to learn first, lessons that prepare us so we can accept the good we des...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. —Step Nine of Al-Anon When we make amends we need to be clear about what we're apologizing for and the best way to say we're sorry. What we are really doing with our amends is taking responsibility for...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

It's okay to take care of ourselves on the job. It is not only okay - it is necessary. Taking care of ourselves on the job means we deal with feelings appropriately; we take responsibility for ourselves. We detach, when detachment is called for. We set boundaries, when we need to do that. We negotiate co...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Procrastination - not acting when the time is right - is a self-defeating behavior. It produces anxiety, guilt, disharmony, and a nagging consciousness of the task that life is telling us it's time to do. We are not always procrastinating when we put off doing something. Sometimes, doing a thing bef...

SugarBee · SugarBee

Hi, I'm a woman living in Canada, with a history of self-harming behaviour including anorexia and bulimia. I have had major issues with both money and food resulting in obesity, and now I am reasonably healthy and on the road to a healthy relationship with food. As a result of a toxic upbringing, I h...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Shame is that dark, powerful feeling that holds us back. Yes, shame can stop us from acting inappropriately. But many of us have learned to attach shame to healthy behaviors that are in our best interest. In dysfunctional families, shame can be tagged to healthy behaviors such as talking about feeli...

jj · jj

hi MIP family, still sober, still looking to do the next right thing... and going to school full time. the past year i have been getting all the prerequisites together so i could get on the list to take a certificate couse to be a nurses aid. i am leaning towards elder care up here in my rural part of nor...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I thought if I could help others in worse situations.. (Preview) so I go to my first volunteer training class tonight, because I wanted to work/volunteer at a women's shelter..and what happens? when one of the speakers/teacher talks about the affect that physical/mental abuse takes on the children..I start to cry!!! and I couldn't pull myself together, so I ju...	shrinkingviolet	8	694	Oct 1, 2011 by willing
	Daily Meditation ~ Not A Victim (Preview) You are not a victim. How deeply ingrained our self-image as a victim can be! How habitual our feelings of misery and helplessness! Victimization can be like a gray cloak that surrounds us, both attracting that which will victimize us and causing us to generate the feelings of victimization. Victim...	lilmzsparkles	1	544	Oct 1, 2011 by willing
	Daily Meditation ~ The Importance of Money (Preview) We cannot afford to allow our focus in life to be money. That will not lead us into the abundance we're seeking. Usually, it will not even lead to financial stability. Money is important. We deserve to be paid what we're worth. We will be paid what we're worth when we believe we deserve to be. But often you...	lilmzsparkles	1	616	Sep 30, 2011 by willing
	The 12 Promises of Codependents Anonymous (Preview) I can expect a miraculous change in my life by working the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous. As I make an honest effort to work the Twelve Steps and follow the Twelve Traditions...I know a new sense of belonging. The feeling of emptiness and loneliness will disappear.I am no longer controlled by my...	willing	0	416	Sep 27, 2011 by willing
	Daily Meditation ~ Temporary Setbacks (Preview) Sometimes, after we begin recovery, things in our life seem to get worse for a time. Our finances, our relationships, or our health may seem to deteriorate. This is temporary; this is a normal part of recovery and healing. It may be the way things will be for a time, but not for long. Keep working at recov...	lilmzsparkles	0	526	Sep 27, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Daily Meditation ~ Peace with the Past (Preview) Even God cannot change the past. —Agathon Holding on to the past, either through guilt, longing, denial, or resentment, is a waste of valuable energy - energy that can be used to transform today and tomorrow. "I used to live in my past," said one recovering woman. "I was either tryin...	lilmzsparkles	1	636	Sep 26, 2011 by willing
	Getting to know who I am (Preview) I have learned a lot about myself during recovery and in the process learned to love a lot of things about myself and identify a lot of things I would like to change. I work on those things daily. But I still felt I needed more insight and was mentioning this to a friend and they suggested I try one of the man...	willing	2	558	Sep 24, 2011 by willing
	Daily Meditation ~ Tolerance (Preview) Practice tolerance. Tolerate our quirks, our feelings, our reactions, our peculiarities, and our humanness. Tolerate our ups and downs, our resistance to change, and our struggling and sometimes awkward nature. Tolerate our fears, our mistakes, our natural tendency to duck from problems, and...	lilmzsparkles	1	518	Sep 24, 2011 by willing
	Daily Meditation ~ Trusting Ourselves (Preview) Many of us believed that heeding the words of God or our Higher Power meant following rigid rules, an instruction booklet for life. Many of us now believe differently. The rigid rules, the endless instructions, the exhortation to perfection, are not the words our Higher Power whispers. The words of...	lilmzsparkles	0	454	Sep 22, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Step Study - Step 7 (Preview) Step 7: Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings. - Step Seven of CoDA The author talks about her overwhelming fear in her life. Fear of her past, God, recovery, people and herself. She was afraid of this step thinking that if she asked God to remove all her defects there would be nothing left. She s...	willing	1	5033	Sep 22, 2011 by willing
	Daily Meditation ~ Spontaneity (Preview) In recovery, we're learning to let ourselves go! We're learning to be spontaneous. Spontaneity may frighten some of us. We may be afraid of the loss of control involved with spontaneity. We may still be operating under the codependent rules that prohibit spontaneity: be good; be right; be perfect;...	lilmzsparkles	0	469	Sep 20, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Step Study - Step 6 (Preview) "I always learn the hard way. But come to think of it, so do most people. Rarely have I heard a person say, 'I learn the easy way.'" ~Gary E. Step Six: "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character." ~Step Six of CoDA The chapter begins with a woman telling...	willing	1	5078	Sep 19, 2011 by willing
	Daily Meditation ~ Revenge (Preview) No matter how long we've been recovering, no matter how solid our spiritual ground, we may still feel an overwhelming desire at times to punish, or get even, with another person. We want revenge. We want to see the other person hurt the way he or she has hurt us. We want to see life deal that person just rew...	lilmzsparkles	1	1034	Sep 16, 2011 by LinBaba
	Don't know what you don't know (Preview) When I got into recovery my life was a mess. It just kept getting worse and worse no matter how hard I tried to fix my outsides. I thought that was all there was to fix. The harder I tried the deeper the hole I dug for myself. Recovery introduced the concept that I could change myself. Not my income level...	willing	2	530	Sep 16, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Daily Meditation ~ What's Good For Me? (Preview) When we are soul searching, be it for the smaller or larger decisions we face during the day, we can learn to ask, is this good for me?... Is this what I really want?... Is this what I need?...Does this direction feel right for me?...or am I succumbing to the control and influence that I sometimes allow ot...	lilmzsparkles	1	571	Sep 15, 2011 by willing
	Daily Meditation ~ Healing (Preview) We should learn not to grow impatient with the slow healing process of time. We should discipline ourselves to recognize that there are many steps to be taken along the highway leading from sorrow to renewed serenity... We should anticipate these stages in our emotional convalescence: unbearable...	lilmzsparkles	2	688	Sep 13, 2011 by SugarBee
	Daily Meditation ~ Self-Approval (Preview) Most of us want to be liked. We want other people to think of us as nice, friendly, kind, and loving. Most of us want the approval of others. Since childhood, some of us have been trying to get approval, trying to get people to like us and think highly of us. We may be afraid people will leave us if they disapp...	lilmzsparkles	0	690	Sep 11, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Letting Go - Cutting Ties (Preview) This is a long one. Thanks for reading. Here's a little background: My mom has schizophrenia. My grandmother has had some sort of mental breakdown in the past because I remember my parents making references to it, but like my mom's illness we "don't talk about it". If you don't talk abou...	KarenL	2	1004	Sep 10, 2011 by willing
	Daily Meditation ~ Stopping Our Pain (Preview) Some of my feelings have been stored so long they have freezer burn. —Beyond Codependency There are many sources of pain in our life. Those of us recovering from adult children and codependency issues frequently have a cesspool of unresolved pain from the past. We have feelings, sometimes from ear...	lilmzsparkles	0	387	Sep 8, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	not listening to my "gut feelings" was killing me.. (Preview) I feel so stupid...here's the Reader's Digest version.. for the past two months I was dating a guy that "said" that he was falling in love with me..problem was, there were a few HUGE red flags that were screaming at me, and yet, I kept hanging in there...trusting an untrustworthy person....	shrinkingviolet	4	943	Sep 8, 2011 by shrinkingviolet
	Daily Meditation ~ The Good in Step Ten (Preview) Step Ten says: "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." It does not suggest that we ignore what is right in our life. It says we continue to take a personal inventory and keep a focus on ourselves. When we take an inventory, we will want to look for ma...	lilmzsparkles	1	486	Sep 7, 2011 by willing
	Daily Meditation ~ Word Power (Preview) I know I'm controlling, but so is my husband. Possibly more controlling than I am. Each time I set out to leave him, each time I started to walk away, he knew exactly what to say to pull me back in. And he knew I'd respond. He knew how to say exactly what I needed to hear to keep me where he wanted me. He knew what...	lilmzsparkles	0	456	Sep 3, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	childhood/denial (Preview) Hi everyone, really needed to come on here and share. I went to a meeting last night. People shared about their childhoods. In my share I said my childhood was good (i do have lots of good memeories of childhood my dad had lots of time for me). I said that my co dependency came from my mother and grandmot...	tracy	2	754	Sep 3, 2011 by LinBaba
	Daily Meditation ~ Patience (Preview) Sometimes we get what we want right away. At other times, we wonder if our desires will ever be fulfilled. We will be fulfilled in the best way possible and as quickly as possible. But some things take time. Sometimes, we have lessons to learn first, lessons that prepare us so we can accept the good we des...	lilmzsparkles	0	469	Sep 1, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Daily Meditation ~ Making Amends (Preview) Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. —Step Nine of Al-Anon When we make amends we need to be clear about what we're apologizing for and the best way to say we're sorry. What we are really doing with our amends is taking responsibility for...	lilmzsparkles	4	1284	Sep 1, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Daily Meditation ~ Taking Care of Ourselves on the Job (Preview) It's okay to take care of ourselves on the job. It is not only okay - it is necessary. Taking care of ourselves on the job means we deal with feelings appropriately; we take responsibility for ourselves. We detach, when detachment is called for. We set boundaries, when we need to do that. We negotiate co...	lilmzsparkles	0	785	Aug 28, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Daily Meditation ~ Procrastination (Preview) Procrastination - not acting when the time is right - is a self-defeating behavior. It produces anxiety, guilt, disharmony, and a nagging consciousness of the task that life is telling us it's time to do. We are not always procrastinating when we put off doing something. Sometimes, doing a thing bef...	lilmzsparkles	0	585	Aug 27, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Introduction (Preview) Hi, I'm a woman living in Canada, with a history of self-harming behaviour including anorexia and bulimia. I have had major issues with both money and food resulting in obesity, and now I am reasonably healthy and on the road to a healthy relationship with food. As a result of a toxic upbringing, I h...	SugarBee	6	633	Aug 21, 2011 by SugarBee
	Daily Meditation ~ Letting Go of Shame (Preview) Shame is that dark, powerful feeling that holds us back. Yes, shame can stop us from acting inappropriately. But many of us have learned to attach shame to healthy behaviors that are in our best interest. In dysfunctional families, shame can be tagged to healthy behaviors such as talking about feeli...	lilmzsparkles	0	1038	Aug 19, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	good morning from jj/sheila (Preview) hi MIP family, still sober, still looking to do the next right thing... and going to school full time. the past year i have been getting all the prerequisites together so i could get on the list to take a certificate couse to be a nurses aid. i am leaning towards elder care up here in my rural part of nor...	jj	2	650	Aug 19, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
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