Miracles In Progress Codependents Anonymous Group - Miracles In Progress Codependents Anonymous Group

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

"Yes, I know your spouse is an alcoholic, but my son is an alcoholic, and that's different. That's worse!" My pain is greater than yours! What an easy trap that can be for us. We are out to show others how victimized we have been, how much we hurt, how unfair life is, and what tremendous martyrs...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

"When the time is right, child." When the time is right. How often have we heard those words - from a friend, a sponsor, our Higher Power? We want things so badly - that job, that check, a relationship, a possession. We want our life to change. So we wait, sometimes patiently, sometimes anxio...

nice4ever · nice4ever

Hi, I've just joined today, though I've been lurking for a week or so. I'm seriously co-dependent, but I'm just beginning to understand what it really means. I feel that I am being mean if I say no to someone's request for help. It is a very unpleasant experience to feel mean, so I am always helping othe...

Lucy · Lucy

Hi, I just joined the forum and think it's one of the best I've seen... hope to get to know you better and love your different icons . Not sure if I'm even in the right part of the site to be part of the ongoing forum...so tell me if I'm wrong...thanks. Was married to emotionally abusive sex addict for many y...

LinBaba · LinBaba

I don't find inner peace when the people in my life start behaving, I find inner peace when -I- start behaving, I have never gotten an amends from sitting around and waiting for it stewing in a pool of resentment, but I sure have gotten a few when I went and made amends of my own, and the funny thing is by the t...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Practice being spontaneous. Practice having fun. The joy of recovery is that we finally get to experiment. We get to learn new behaviors, and we don't have to do them perfectly. We only need to find a way that works for us. We even have fun experimenting, learning what we like, and how to do what we like. M...

John · John

Hello everyone, As many of us already know, the economy is taking a toll on so many people, so hard that life as we once knew it has changed. So it is with me. As I write this post I am struggling to just keep my head above water, but the water is rising very fast. And I am reaching out for help. At one time, th...

HeatherK · HeatherK

I have now made it one month without a slip, a slip into codependent relationship behaviors. I have given up my controlling and obsessing. I can already see progress, in how I feel about ME. I feel I am slowly making progress, getting better...and here's the shocker! It takes the same things to recove...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Much as we would like, we cannot bring everyone with us on this journey called recovery. We are not being disloyal by allowing ourselves to move forward. We don't have to wait for those we love to decide to change as well. Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to grow, even though the people we l...

tracy · tracy

Hi everyone I have been away on training in London. I arrived there last Sunday afternoon and had checked on the internet to see if there was anycoda meetings I could attend. I attended a meeting on the Sunday evening in Camden. It was great there was a lot of recovery in the room. I was made to feel ve...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Self care means taking responsibility for ourselves. Taking responsibility for ourselves includes assuming our true responsibilities to others. Sometimes, when we begin recovery, we're worn down from feeling responsible for so many other people. Learning that we need only take responsibili...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

It doesn't matter if they're hurting themselves. It doesn't matter that we could help them if they'd only listen to, and cooperate with, us. IT DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER. —Codependent No More I think I can change him. Nobody's ever really loved him and appreci...

gladlee · gladlee

I WILL BREATHE, I WILL FEEL, I WILL RELAX Today I will commit myself to three basic tasks that mark a new beginning; I will breathe, I will feel, I will relax. Today I will take a moment for retreat. When I don't give myself the solitude I need, I have no chance to replenish myself. Today I will remember how...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Have some fun - with life, with the day. Life is not drudgery; that is an old belief. Let go of it. We are on an adventure, a journey. Events will come to pass that we cannot now fathom. Replace heaviness and weariness of spirit with joy. Surround yourself with people and things that bring lightness of spi...

rmap323 · rmap323

Hi...I'm new to all this..not sure where I belong. My 16 year old son went in for treatment for drug abuse..stayed 30 days. Came home 2 days ago. I'm stuck in trying to provide the best home for recovery. He scares me because since he has been home he has not changed his environment. Still sees the kids he u...

gladysg · gladysg

I am having issues with people who have been frustrating to me and causing lots of problems for me in the past. I think I've figured out why they frustrate me, but I dont really have any answers that are tactful to respond to them so it doesn't happen again. Here goes. I am frustrated at family members wh...

HeatherK · HeatherK

I am in AA and have been working a very strong program. I have a wonderful sponsor and have worked the 12 steps. I regularly secretary and chair meetings, I do a lot of service work in my homegroup...I help newcomers. I often hear newcomers speak at meetings and though I try not to be judgmental, I can't he...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Shame can hold us back, hold us down, and keep us staring at our feet. —Beyond Codependency Watch out for shame. Many systems and people reek of shame. They are controlled by shame and may want us to play their game with them. They may be hoping to hook us and control us through shame. We don't have to fall...

isobel · isobel

hello everyone :) i am new to CoDA. just started on my journey if you may say so.. i'm traveling a lot and so i'd love to have an online support group too while i can't attend any meetings. are there any other CoDA online forums you guys can recommend?

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

A married couple, friends of mine, decided to make some changes in their living situation. They had always lived in the city, and now they decided they wanted to live in the country, on a lake. They found a small lake home. It wasn't the house of their dreams, but when they sold their city home, they would...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

We need healthy boundaries about receiving money, and we need healthy boundaries about giving money. Some of us give money for inappropriate reasons. We may be ashamed because we have money and don't believe we deserve it. We may belong to an organization that uses shame as a form of control to coerce...

Tilda · Tilda

Hello everybody on the board, I'm Tilda, codependent. I went for the first time to a face to face CoDA meeting yesterday. I also recently discovered the board, while gathering information on my dis-ease. But tonight is special: I went for the first time to a ballet show. And cried for the duration of it...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

We feel safe around direct, honest people. They speak their minds, and we know where we stand with them. Indirect people, people who are afraid to say who they are, what they want, and what they're feeling, cannot be trusted. They will somehow act out their truth even though they do not speak it. And it m...

Freya · Freya

So my partner and I have been meeting up once or twice a week on neutral territory to spend time together in a different way than we have in the past, as a means of hopefully relating to each other differently and doing the relationship differently. I have been working my steps, working the tools of the pr...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

I was talking to a friend one day about something I planned to do. Actually, I was worrying about how one particular person might react to what I intended to do. "What if he doesn't handle it very well?" I asked. "Then," my friend replied, "you're going to have to handle it we...

gladysg · gladysg

I heard this somewhere but can't remember. It said stay away from people, places and things that trigger alcoholism. What about codependency? Since dealing with the relative of a friend, memories that I have been trying to repress since September are coming back with a vengence. It's like I can reme...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

As we walk through life, there are many things and people we may lose, or lose out on, if we are unwilling to commit. We need to make a commitment for relationships to grow beyond the dating stage, to have the home or apartment we want, the job we want, or the car we desire. We must commit, on deep levels, to c...

JamesToo · JamesToo

Just stumbled on to this board. Mind if a US guy join you? I've been away from CoDA for a lot of years. Now I'm back looking desperately for some serenity. For now I just have to stick to the first step: I find I am powerless over others, my life has become unmanageable. james -- Edited by JamesToo on Frida...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

A married woman who had recently joined Al-Anon called me one afternoon. She worked part-time as a registered nurse, had assumed all the responsibilities for raising her two children, and did all the household chores, including repairs and finances. "I want to separate from my husband,&quo...

Freya · Freya

After my partner and I broke up , I've spent the past few weeks looking at me and trying to understand my part in my relationships, and why I find them so difficult. I've been going to lots of meetings and talking with my sponsor and friends in the two fellowships I'm a member of. I'm also still working my...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Daily Meditation ~ Competition Between Martyrs (Preview) "Yes, I know your spouse is an alcoholic, but my son is an alcoholic, and that's different. That's worse!" My pain is greater than yours! What an easy trap that can be for us. We are out to show others how victimized we have been, how much we hurt, how unfair life is, and what tremendous martyrs...	lilmzsparkles	0	534	Jun 15, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Daily Meditation ~ Letting Go of Timing (Preview) "When the time is right, child." When the time is right. How often have we heard those words - from a friend, a sponsor, our Higher Power? We want things so badly - that job, that check, a relationship, a possession. We want our life to change. So we wait, sometimes patiently, sometimes anxio...	lilmzsparkles	0	626	Jun 14, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Hi, I'm seriously codependent (Preview) Hi, I've just joined today, though I've been lurking for a week or so. I'm seriously co-dependent, but I'm just beginning to understand what it really means. I feel that I am being mean if I say no to someone's request for help. It is a very unpleasant experience to feel mean, so I am always helping othe...	nice4ever	6	877	Jun 14, 2011 by nice4ever
	Newbie (Preview) Hi, I just joined the forum and think it's one of the best I've seen... hope to get to know you better and love your different icons . Not sure if I'm even in the right part of the site to be part of the ongoing forum...so tell me if I'm wrong...thanks. Was married to emotionally abusive sex addict for many y...	Lucy	1	561	Jun 13, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Peace (Preview) I don't find inner peace when the people in my life start behaving, I find inner peace when -I- start behaving, I have never gotten an amends from sitting around and waiting for it stewing in a pool of resentment, but I sure have gotten a few when I went and made amends of my own, and the funny thing is by the t...	LinBaba	4	761	Jun 13, 2011 by Freya
	Daily Meditation ~ Spontaneity & Fun (Preview) Practice being spontaneous. Practice having fun. The joy of recovery is that we finally get to experiment. We get to learn new behaviors, and we don't have to do them perfectly. We only need to find a way that works for us. We even have fun experimenting, learning what we like, and how to do what we like. M...	lilmzsparkles	0	602	Jun 12, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Request for help... (Preview) Hello everyone, As many of us already know, the economy is taking a toll on so many people, so hard that life as we once knew it has changed. So it is with me. As I write this post I am struggling to just keep my head above water, but the water is rising very fast. And I am reaching out for help. At one time, th...	John	0	581	Jun 12, 2011 by John
	Getting better (Preview) I have now made it one month without a slip, a slip into codependent relationship behaviors. I have given up my controlling and obsessing. I can already see progress, in how I feel about ME. I feel I am slowly making progress, getting better...and here's the shocker! It takes the same things to recove...	HeatherK	2	619	Jun 12, 2011 by Dolly
	Daily Meditation ~ Moving Forward (Preview) Much as we would like, we cannot bring everyone with us on this journey called recovery. We are not being disloyal by allowing ourselves to move forward. We don't have to wait for those we love to decide to change as well. Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to grow, even though the people we l...	lilmzsparkles	0	795	Jun 11, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	meeting in london (Preview) Hi everyone I have been away on training in London. I arrived there last Sunday afternoon and had checked on the internet to see if there was anycoda meetings I could attend. I attended a meeting on the Sunday evening in Camden. It was great there was a lot of recovery in the room. I was made to feel ve...	tracy	2	1279	Jun 11, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Daily Meditation ~ Responsibility (Preview) Self care means taking responsibility for ourselves. Taking responsibility for ourselves includes assuming our true responsibilities to others. Sometimes, when we begin recovery, we're worn down from feeling responsible for so many other people. Learning that we need only take responsibili...	lilmzsparkles	0	567	Jun 10, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Daily Meditation ~ Into Orbit (Preview) It doesn't matter if they're hurting themselves. It doesn't matter that we could help them if they'd only listen to, and cooperate with, us. IT DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MATTER. —Codependent No More I think I can change him. Nobody's ever really loved him and appreci...	lilmzsparkles	1	634	Jun 9, 2011 by Freya
	ACOA - Relaxing (Preview) I WILL BREATHE, I WILL FEEL, I WILL RELAX Today I will commit myself to three basic tasks that mark a new beginning; I will breathe, I will feel, I will relax. Today I will take a moment for retreat. When I don't give myself the solitude I need, I have no chance to replenish myself. Today I will remember how...	gladlee	2	655	Jun 9, 2011 by Freya
	Daily Meditation ~ Fun (Preview) Have some fun - with life, with the day. Life is not drudgery; that is an old belief. Let go of it. We are on an adventure, a journey. Events will come to pass that we cannot now fathom. Replace heaviness and weariness of spirit with joy. Surround yourself with people and things that bring lightness of spi...	lilmzsparkles	1	782	Jun 9, 2011 by Freya
	New to program... (Preview) Hi...I'm new to all this..not sure where I belong. My 16 year old son went in for treatment for drug abuse..stayed 30 days. Came home 2 days ago. I'm stuck in trying to provide the best home for recovery. He scares me because since he has been home he has not changed his environment. Still sees the kids he u...	rmap323	7	628	Jun 9, 2011 by Freya
	What to do with frustrating situations? (Preview) I am having issues with people who have been frustrating to me and causing lots of problems for me in the past. I think I've figured out why they frustrate me, but I dont really have any answers that are tactful to respond to them so it doesn't happen again. Here goes. I am frustrated at family members wh...	gladysg	5	793	Jun 8, 2011 by Dean
	Wow! I now realize how toxic I've been! (Preview) I am in AA and have been working a very strong program. I have a wonderful sponsor and have worked the 12 steps. I regularly secretary and chair meetings, I do a lot of service work in my homegroup...I help newcomers. I often hear newcomers speak at meetings and though I try not to be judgmental, I can't he...	HeatherK	8	985	Jun 7, 2011 by Mike B
	Daily Meditation ~ Combating Shame (Preview) Shame can hold us back, hold us down, and keep us staring at our feet. —Beyond Codependency Watch out for shame. Many systems and people reek of shame. They are controlled by shame and may want us to play their game with them. They may be hoping to hook us and control us through shame. We don't have to fall...	lilmzsparkles	0	1243	Jun 5, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	hi, i'm new (Preview) hello everyone :) i am new to CoDA. just started on my journey if you may say so.. i'm traveling a lot and so i'd love to have an online support group too while i can't attend any meetings. are there any other CoDA online forums you guys can recommend?	isobel	5	693	Jun 5, 2011 by isobel
	Daily Meditation ~ Trusting God (Preview) A married couple, friends of mine, decided to make some changes in their living situation. They had always lived in the city, and now they decided they wanted to live in the country, on a lake. They found a small lake home. It wasn't the house of their dreams, but when they sold their city home, they would...	lilmzsparkles	0	715	Jun 4, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Daily Meditation ~ Charity (Preview) We need healthy boundaries about receiving money, and we need healthy boundaries about giving money. Some of us give money for inappropriate reasons. We may be ashamed because we have money and don't believe we deserve it. We may belong to an organization that uses shame as a form of control to coerce...	lilmzsparkles	0	485	Jun 3, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	New & rant (Preview) Hello everybody on the board, I'm Tilda, codependent. I went for the first time to a face to face CoDA meeting yesterday. I also recently discovered the board, while gathering information on my dis-ease. But tonight is special: I went for the first time to a ballet show. And cried for the duration of it...	Tilda	3	546	Jun 3, 2011 by Tilda
	Daily Meditation ~ Directness (Preview) We feel safe around direct, honest people. They speak their minds, and we know where we stand with them. Indirect people, people who are afraid to say who they are, what they want, and what they're feeling, cannot be trusted. They will somehow act out their truth even though they do not speak it. And it m...	lilmzsparkles	0	579	Jun 1, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Not reacting v Being Assertive (Preview) So my partner and I have been meeting up once or twice a week on neutral territory to spend time together in a different way than we have in the past, as a means of hopefully relating to each other differently and doing the relationship differently. I have been working my steps, working the tools of the pr...	Freya	14	1369	Jun 1, 2011 by Freya
	Daily Meditation ~ What If? (Preview) I was talking to a friend one day about something I planned to do. Actually, I was worrying about how one particular person might react to what I intended to do. "What if he doesn't handle it very well?" I asked. "Then," my friend replied, "you're going to have to handle it we...	lilmzsparkles	0	487	May 31, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	People, places and things (Preview) I heard this somewhere but can't remember. It said stay away from people, places and things that trigger alcoholism. What about codependency? Since dealing with the relative of a friend, memories that I have been trying to repress since September are coming back with a vengence. It's like I can reme...	gladysg	4	574	May 31, 2011 by gladysg
	Daily Meditation ~ Commitment (Preview) As we walk through life, there are many things and people we may lose, or lose out on, if we are unwilling to commit. We need to make a commitment for relationships to grow beyond the dating stage, to have the home or apartment we want, the job we want, or the car we desire. We must commit, on deep levels, to c...	lilmzsparkles	0	472	May 30, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Hello (Preview) Just stumbled on to this board. Mind if a US guy join you? I've been away from CoDA for a lot of years. Now I'm back looking desperately for some serenity. For now I just have to stick to the first step: I find I am powerless over others, my life has become unmanageable. james -- Edited by JamesToo on Frida...	JamesToo	5	942	May 28, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Daily Meditation ~ Letting Go of Self Doubt (Preview) A married woman who had recently joined Al-Anon called me one afternoon. She worked part-time as a registered nurse, had assumed all the responsibilities for raising her two children, and did all the household chores, including repairs and finances. "I want to separate from my husband,&quo...	lilmzsparkles	0	2043	May 28, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Realising things about myself (Preview) After my partner and I broke up , I've spent the past few weeks looking at me and trying to understand my part in my relationships, and why I find them so difficult. I've been going to lots of meetings and talking with my sponsor and friends in the two fellowships I'm a member of. I'm also still working my...	Freya	7	922	May 27, 2011 by Freya
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