Miracles In Progress Codependents Anonymous Group - Miracles In Progress Codependents Anonymous Group

gladlee · gladlee

Dear Family, At the end of the week, I will be turning in my leased vehicle and hopefully buying something new. The last time I did this, I was going through my divorce (had another month to go before it was final) and I effing broke down and asked my husband to help me, which he did. We'd been doing it th...

John · John

Hello folks, Someone has eluded to the idea that they thought their anonymity was automatically protected here, but this is a public message board. It can be crawled by google, yahoo, and another search bot that roams around the internet. If you are using your full name in your registration, inste...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Life is cyclical, not static. Our relationships benefit when we allow them to follow their own natural cycles. Like the tide ebbs and flows, so do the cycles in relationships. We have periods of closeness and periods of distance. We have times of coming together and times of separating to work on indi...

gladysg · gladysg

I accept that I am not going to be liked by everyone. I have this way about me when it comes to how I like to be treated as well as how I treat others. If I don't agree with someone's way of how they think I should behave, or in how they are behaving towards me, I speak up and then they get very quiet with me and do...

gladlee · gladlee

MY HAPPINESS DEPENDS ON ME Today I react positively to my environment, and to the people around me. I look at life with a new understanding of what is important. My happiness depends on ME - and only I can make a hell or a heaven on earth for myself. My happiness does not depend on other people or outer ci...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

I want to change careers . . . I need a friend . . .I'm ready to be in a relationship . . . Regularly, we become aware of new needs. We may need to change our behavior with our children. We may need a new couch, love and nurturing, a dollar, or help. Do not be afraid to recognize a want or need. The birth of a want or...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Ultimately, to grieve our losses means to surrender to our feelings. So many of us have lost so much, have said so many good byes - have been through so many changes. We may want to hold back the tides of change, not because the change isn't good, but because we have had so much change, so much loss. Sometim...

Linistea · Linistea

(I highlighted things that stood out to me) http://melodybeattie.com/time-to-be-bad/ TIME TO BE BAD By Melody Beattie I stared at the picture of the overweight man, thinking “I bet he eats too much because it’s the only good feelings he gets from doing something bad.” I realized though, that I wasn...

Linistea · Linistea

A blog by Melody Beattie. I enjoyed this entry: http://melodybeattie.com/can-you-hear-me-now/ CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? by Melody Beattie It took half my life to learn to listen to myself. It took me the next ten years to learn to listen to other people. Background noise. Chatter. I did this, and the...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Sometimes, life and people seem to push and push. Because we are so used to pain, we may tell ourselves it doesn't hurt. Because we are so used to people controlling and manipulating us, we may tell ourselves there is something wrong with us. There's nothing wrong with us. Life is pushing and hurting to...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi, It hurts to feel rejected/shamed by others. Memories are starting to surface from 20 - 30 yrs ago. What kicked it off was myself having these same feelings about a week ago from someone I haven't even met, though we wrote via an internet group. These are the same feelings as when I was 9 and 14-15 yr...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Take a risk. Take a chance. We do not have to indulge in obviously foolhardy or self-defeating risks, but we can allow ourselves to take positive risks in recovery. We cannot afford to keep ourselves paralyzed. We do not have to keep ourselves stymied and trapped out of fear of making a mistake or faili...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Is my qualifier. My abf. My sweet abf who is really a great person inside...he is the one I am obsessed with and addicted to. My sickness is so great that I can't focus on me for one minute. 30 seconds is too long sometimes. I struggle all day. I am so tired from a life time of concentrating on everyone...

Myopia1964 · Myopia1964

On the topic of relationships.... I am struggling with something. I understand and accept that it is unhealthy to derive my sense of self-worth from another person. I truly get that. I also admit that it's been hard for me at times in relationships to distinguish my own self from another...to see wher...

gladlee · gladlee

I FEEL STRONG ENOUGH TO ASK FOR THE HELP I NEED I can ask for help in solving my problems. It is important for me to say what I want and how I feel. Making other people guess at my needs simply sets me up to be hurt. I am capable of handling many projects, but I realize that it's important to ask for help if I ne...

LinBaba · LinBaba

I was reading/participating in a discussion about "giving advice" over on the Al-anon forum and looking up some of the things got my brain kind of going... I was always pretty good at spotting emotional abuse in others, I have quite a few websites saved about it and can spot it pretty fast in...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Many of us picked on ourselves unmercifully before recovery. We may also have a tendency too pick on ourselves after we begin recovery. If I was really recovering, I wouldn't be doing that again . . . I should be further along than I am. These are statements that we indulge in when we're feeling shame. We...

gladlee · gladlee

TODAY, I CAN TAKE MY TIME I am relaxed today. I'm unrushed, moving at my own pace, getting things accomplished in my own time. I don't have to hurry, I can take my time. So often in my chemically dependent family, I had to rush to get my needs met. I had to rush to grow up. Today I make a conscious decisio...

momofall · momofall

Hey all, i have been fishing around trying to figure out your forum. i guess there are no sub-forums and everyone just posts here? Anywho.... I am 32, mother of 5 but i try to mother everyone and save them from everything. I have known for a long time that i am codependent. as my second marriage is comi...

tracy · tracy

Since splitting with my sober abf I have been spending a littl bit more time with my mother. Her co dependency is running riot she is trying to offer support which I do need a little of right now but I am noticing more and more where I learnt this behavior. we went shoping yesterday. She told me where to p...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Fear is at the core of codependency. It can motivate us to control situations or neglect ourselves. Many of us have been afraid for so long that we don't label our feelings fear. We're used to feeling upset and anxious. It feels normal. Peace and serenity may be uncomfortable. At one time, fear may have...

Danielle · Danielle

Make yourself feel good. It's our job to first make ourselves feel better and then make ourselves feel good. Recovery is not only about stopping painful feelings; it is about creating a good life for ourselves. We don't have to deny ourselves activities that help us feel good. Going to meetings, bask...

gladlee · gladlee

welp, now that I just ate enough for four people, I think I'll post. The food didn't give me any answers. I need some help. The man that I have been dating for 6 weeks now, left my house yesterday morning after we spent the weekend together. We had a wonderful weekend of dining, walking at the botanical...

Danielle · Danielle

For the next twenty-four hours ... In recovery, we live life one day at a time, an idea requiring an enormous amount of faith. We refuse to look back - unless healing from the past is part of today's work. We look ahead only to make plans. We focus on this day's activity, living it to the best of our ability....

youfoundme · youfoundme

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel very lost and sad. I have gone to alanon in the past, my bf is an addict and alcoholic. I am not sure if this is the place for me because I know what to say to sound like I am getting better and in recovery. I know the words that sound good... HE is not like I see describe...

Sarahleah · Sarahleah

I've been in AA for 5 years now because I thought my problem was alcohol. But I've been slowly dying inside from untreated co-dependence. I dont think I've ever been Real alcoholic, but I drank like one to escape the pain of being alone and not being ok being alone. Thank God a member of AA was able to poin...

Danielle · Danielle

BLUE BOOK STUDY RETREATFriday 29th ~ Sunday 31st July 2011 “To a loving Higher Power,To each member of the Fellowship of Co-Dependents Anonymous andTo the codependent who still suffers.” Welcome to St Joseph’s Prayer Cte, Formby, U.K.A Great Place to Increase Your Conscious Contact with God(...

Danielle · Danielle

Often, we can learn much about ourselves from the people to whom we are attracted. As we progress through recovery, we learn we can no longer form relationships solely on the basis of attraction. We learn to be patient, to allow ourselves to take into account important facts, and to process informati...

Freya · Freya

I'm really finding it hard to let go and let God. I'm filled with grief and sadness at the loss of my relationship with my partner. He is deep in his recovery and seems to be doing well taking care of himself, and making time for friends and family. I feel like I've lost a leg and am having trouble getting...

billyjack · billyjack

I read about this " The Karpman Drama Triangle " in our Codependent No More book a few weeks ago, and then looked at it again this past week. I have always found that in my recovery that when I am ready to grow, and I am looking at the apropreate material, that I act out the worst case ( or at least it...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	On my own (Preview) Dear Family, At the end of the week, I will be turning in my leased vehicle and hopefully buying something new. The last time I did this, I was going through my divorce (had another month to go before it was final) and I effing broke down and asked my husband to help me, which he did. We'd been doing it th...	gladlee	5	657	May 25, 2011 by HeatherK
	Your anonymity is not automatically protected here. (From John) (Preview) Hello folks, Someone has eluded to the idea that they thought their anonymity was automatically protected here, but this is a public message board. It can be crawled by google, yahoo, and another search bot that roams around the internet. If you are using your full name in your registration, inste...	John	0	521	May 24, 2011 by John
	Daily Meditation ~ Letting the Cycles Flow (Preview) Life is cyclical, not static. Our relationships benefit when we allow them to follow their own natural cycles. Like the tide ebbs and flows, so do the cycles in relationships. We have periods of closeness and periods of distance. We have times of coming together and times of separating to work on indi...	lilmzsparkles	0	773	May 24, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Being left out, feels sad (Preview) I accept that I am not going to be liked by everyone. I have this way about me when it comes to how I like to be treated as well as how I treat others. If I don't agree with someone's way of how they think I should behave, or in how they are behaving towards me, I speak up and then they get very quiet with me and do...	gladysg	3	1039	May 23, 2011 by gladysg
	ACOA - Happiness (Preview) MY HAPPINESS DEPENDS ON ME Today I react positively to my environment, and to the people around me. I look at life with a new understanding of what is important. My happiness depends on ME - and only I can make a hell or a heaven on earth for myself. My happiness does not depend on other people or outer ci...	gladlee	1	638	May 23, 2011 by HeatherK
	Daily Meditation ~ Getting Needs Met (Preview) I want to change careers . . . I need a friend . . .I'm ready to be in a relationship . . . Regularly, we become aware of new needs. We may need to change our behavior with our children. We may need a new couch, love and nurturing, a dollar, or help. Do not be afraid to recognize a want or need. The birth of a want or...	lilmzsparkles	0	2519	May 21, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Daily Meditation ~ Sadness (Preview) Ultimately, to grieve our losses means to surrender to our feelings. So many of us have lost so much, have said so many good byes - have been through so many changes. We may want to hold back the tides of change, not because the change isn't good, but because we have had so much change, so much loss. Sometim...	lilmzsparkles	0	1137	May 20, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	For us Perfectionists (Melody Beattie Blog) (Preview) (I highlighted things that stood out to me) http://melodybeattie.com/time-to-be-bad/ TIME TO BE BAD By Melody Beattie I stared at the picture of the overweight man, thinking “I bet he eats too much because it’s the only good feelings he gets from doing something bad.” I realized though, that I wasn...	Linistea	0	3288	May 19, 2011 by Linistea
	Can you hear me now? (Preview) A blog by Melody Beattie. I enjoyed this entry: http://melodybeattie.com/can-you-hear-me-now/ CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? by Melody Beattie It took half my life to learn to listen to myself. It took me the next ten years to learn to listen to other people. Background noise. Chatter. I did this, and the...	Linistea	1	881	May 18, 2011 by youfoundme
	Daily Meditation ~ Boundaries (Preview) Sometimes, life and people seem to push and push. Because we are so used to pain, we may tell ourselves it doesn't hurt. Because we are so used to people controlling and manipulating us, we may tell ourselves there is something wrong with us. There's nothing wrong with us. Life is pushing and hurting to...	lilmzsparkles	0	1417	May 17, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Rejection (Preview) Hi, It hurts to feel rejected/shamed by others. Memories are starting to surface from 20 - 30 yrs ago. What kicked it off was myself having these same feelings about a week ago from someone I haven't even met, though we wrote via an internet group. These are the same feelings as when I was 9 and 14-15 yr...	Tracey C	5	1308	May 16, 2011 by gladlee
	Daily Meditation ~ Taking Risks (Preview) Take a risk. Take a chance. We do not have to indulge in obviously foolhardy or self-defeating risks, but we can allow ourselves to take positive risks in recovery. We cannot afford to keep ourselves paralyzed. We do not have to keep ourselves stymied and trapped out of fear of making a mistake or faili...	lilmzsparkles	0	1177	May 15, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	My drug of choice...my obsession (re-posting here from alanon for more support) (Preview) Is my qualifier. My abf. My sweet abf who is really a great person inside...he is the one I am obsessed with and addicted to. My sickness is so great that I can't focus on me for one minute. 30 seconds is too long sometimes. I struggle all day. I am so tired from a life time of concentrating on everyone...	youfoundme	6	2617	May 14, 2011 by Red Hawk
	Is All This Stoicism Necessary? (Preview) On the topic of relationships.... I am struggling with something. I understand and accept that it is unhealthy to derive my sense of self-worth from another person. I truly get that. I also admit that it's been hard for me at times in relationships to distinguish my own self from another...to see wher...	Myopia1964	16	3487	May 13, 2011 by Linistea
	ACOA ~ Help (Preview) I FEEL STRONG ENOUGH TO ASK FOR THE HELP I NEED I can ask for help in solving my problems. It is important for me to say what I want and how I feel. Making other people guess at my needs simply sets me up to be hurt. I am capable of handling many projects, but I realize that it's important to ask for help if I ne...	gladlee	0	814	May 12, 2011 by gladlee
	Emotional Abuse (Preview) I was reading/participating in a discussion about "giving advice" over on the Al-anon forum and looking up some of the things got my brain kind of going... I was always pretty good at spotting emotional abuse in others, I have quite a few websites saved about it and can spot it pretty fast in...	LinBaba	17	2979	May 12, 2011 by Linistea
	Daily Meditation ~ Perfection (Preview) Many of us picked on ourselves unmercifully before recovery. We may also have a tendency too pick on ourselves after we begin recovery. If I was really recovering, I wouldn't be doing that again . . . I should be further along than I am. These are statements that we indulge in when we're feeling shame. We...	lilmzsparkles	0	1239	May 11, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	ACOA ~ Self-Pacing (Preview) TODAY, I CAN TAKE MY TIME I am relaxed today. I'm unrushed, moving at my own pace, getting things accomplished in my own time. I don't have to hurry, I can take my time. So often in my chemically dependent family, I had to rush to get my needs met. I had to rush to grow up. Today I make a conscious decisio...	gladlee	1	968	May 10, 2011 by tracy
	newb (Preview) Hey all, i have been fishing around trying to figure out your forum. i guess there are no sub-forums and everyone just posts here? Anywho.... I am 32, mother of 5 but i try to mother everyone and save them from everything. I have known for a long time that i am codependent. as my second marriage is comi...	momofall	4	1115	May 9, 2011 by Dean
	behaviors past on (Preview) Since splitting with my sober abf I have been spending a littl bit more time with my mother. Her co dependency is running riot she is trying to offer support which I do need a little of right now but I am noticing more and more where I learnt this behavior. we went shoping yesterday. She told me where to p...	tracy	1	1334	May 8, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Daily Meditation ~ Letting Go of Fear (Preview) Fear is at the core of codependency. It can motivate us to control situations or neglect ourselves. Many of us have been afraid for so long that we don't label our feelings fear. We're used to feeling upset and anxious. It feels normal. Peace and serenity may be uncomfortable. At one time, fear may have...	lilmzsparkles	0	1952	May 7, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Daily Meditation ~ Feeling Good (Preview) Make yourself feel good. It's our job to first make ourselves feel better and then make ourselves feel good. Recovery is not only about stopping painful feelings; it is about creating a good life for ourselves. We don't have to deny ourselves activities that help us feel good. Going to meetings, bask...	Danielle	2	1107	May 7, 2011 by Danielle
	processing again (Preview) welp, now that I just ate enough for four people, I think I'll post. The food didn't give me any answers. I need some help. The man that I have been dating for 6 weeks now, left my house yesterday morning after we spent the weekend together. We had a wonderful weekend of dining, walking at the botanical...	gladlee	5	1030	May 6, 2011 by HeatherK
	Daily Meditation ~ Our Higher Power (Preview) For the next twenty-four hours ... In recovery, we live life one day at a time, an idea requiring an enormous amount of faith. We refuse to look back - unless healing from the past is part of today's work. We look ahead only to make plans. We focus on this day's activity, living it to the best of our ability....	Danielle	0	1167	May 2, 2011 by Danielle
	Re-posting this here from the alanon board where I first posted it: Hello (Preview) I don't know what to do anymore. I feel very lost and sad. I have gone to alanon in the past, my bf is an addict and alcoholic. I am not sure if this is the place for me because I know what to say to sound like I am getting better and in recovery. I know the words that sound good... HE is not like I see describe...	youfoundme	4	1510	May 2, 2011 by youfoundme
	Beginner (Preview) I've been in AA for 5 years now because I thought my problem was alcohol. But I've been slowly dying inside from untreated co-dependence. I dont think I've ever been Real alcoholic, but I drank like one to escape the pain of being alone and not being ok being alone. Thank God a member of AA was able to poin...	Sarahleah	7	1114	May 2, 2011 by Jamie D
	CoDA Retreat ~ Formby/Freshfield, Northwest U.K. (Preview) BLUE BOOK STUDY RETREATFriday 29th ~ Sunday 31st July 2011 “To a loving Higher Power,To each member of the Fellowship of Co-Dependents Anonymous andTo the codependent who still suffers.” Welcome to St Joseph’s Prayer Cte, Formby, U.K.A Great Place to Increase Your Conscious Contact with God(...	Danielle	0	866	May 1, 2011 by Danielle
	Daily Meditation ~ Initiating Relationships (Preview) Often, we can learn much about ourselves from the people to whom we are attracted. As we progress through recovery, we learn we can no longer form relationships solely on the basis of attraction. We learn to be patient, to allow ourselves to take into account important facts, and to process informati...	Danielle	0	1026	Apr 29, 2011 by Danielle
	I've gone over to the dark side... (Preview) I'm really finding it hard to let go and let God. I'm filled with grief and sadness at the loss of my relationship with my partner. He is deep in his recovery and seems to be doing well taking care of himself, and making time for friends and family. I feel like I've lost a leg and am having trouble getting...	Freya	8	1746	Apr 28, 2011 by Freya
	The Karpman Drama Triangle (Preview) I read about this " The Karpman Drama Triangle " in our Codependent No More book a few weeks ago, and then looked at it again this past week. I have always found that in my recovery that when I am ready to grow, and I am looking at the apropreate material, that I act out the worst case ( or at least it...	billyjack	2	2896	Apr 26, 2011 by Freya
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