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Hello,

I've been coming to the realization lately that I have a lot of issues and may be (am likely) codependent. 

I think the point where it really hit me that I had a problem was listening to my dad and my brother fighting (my brother is a drug and alcohol abuser, as well as having a mood and personality disorder) and my dad rounded on me afterward. And I was listening to him, listening to me, listening to these interpersonal interactions, realized our interpersonal relationships were so dysfunctional.

I began looking it up in regard to my dad, but the more I understood codependency, the more I realized I, too, was a codependent. I've been less obviously codependent because I refuse to get into romantic relationships, knowing how they affect me and that I don't like myself when I'm attached to people... but it seriously affects a lot of my platonic relationships, I behave as a workaholic, among other issues.

CoDA meetings are hard to get to around here, so I've been planning on trying out Al-Anon and Nar-Anon and doing what CoDA I can.

I don't want to stay stuck in this cycle. I think I more or less understand it's an issue (if I'm still resistant to the idea.) Now I'm trying to figure out the bigger picture of that entails (e.g., can I recover myself if interacting with codependent people who can't admit they have a problem? If I can't, what can I do?)

Currently I'm reading Codependent No More and its workbook.



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 Hi ma'am...

                   was in Alanon, and years ago the group formed a sub-group to read "Women Who Love Too Much" and then "Codependent no More".

I always thought Melody Beattie had it right. This is a tiny group here...  

big oaks from little acorns grow... welcome... smile... 



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Anikotevet wrote:
I think the point where it really hit me that I had a problem was listening to my dad and my brother fighting

 I would only add that ACoA (Adult Children) helped me a lot to understand the emotional wreckage in my family.   ACA has become quite large in recent years and they have a big red book that might interest you.  Google ACoA meetings.  They are also on line.  Good luck and happy sailing........... 



-- Edited by jimrich on Thursday 13th of July 2017 05:51:59 AM

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Thank both of you two! I have been reading a lot about it, and trying to get to meetings (Al Anon/Nar Anon.) I decided to move to Europe this year (I'm a dual citizen) so that will hopefully create some distance.

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 A six month long conversation... smile...

    These days a lot of us belong to multiple groups... like crossing borders, in itself...aww...

The CODA group here is the junior-baby group of the MIP family... I check in every once in a while...  



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“ Facing codependence” and “breaking free” by pia melody

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 Hmmm, yes... ...I preferred Melody Beattie- Codependent No More- and Beyond Codependency... did read Pia too... for comparison... wink ...



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Minturnfox wrote:

“ Facing codependence” and “breaking free” by pia melody


 yes, pia wrote some good stuff...I'm a M /Beattie fan....my first step to freedom was "12 steps for codependents"  and then "codependent no more"  I was on my way to a better way of thinking and behaving....learned boundaries.......keep coming back, this program works...



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TOPIC: Introduction

This is my first post here. I was going to give up on forums altogether but reluctantly read through your words here and.. well, what really hit home was when you say you stay out of romantic relationships. I have been doing that also. A few other things you said hit home also so now maybe I have found the right place for me? I don't know. I was feeling  depressed some time ago and like I don't want to communicate with anyone at all, romance wise or any-wise.. and maybe I will still feel  that way after being on this forum but.. I don't know. I feel I just dont belong anywhere, except with the Lord but he hasn't chosen to  take me yet.. 

I was attracted romantically to someone recently but had to turn off that attraction every time the person was around and it felt unnatural and even kind of "sinful" because the person seems like a good person and I wonder.. but dont know the person so who knows. I never was much of a good picker as they say.. 

 

anyway, just thoguht I would comment on what you said.

 



-- Edited by kb818 on Friday 1st of February 2019 09:43:43 PM

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