i have spent so many years "protecting" myself that half truths pop out of my mouth easier than anything else. and now i am not quite sure just exactly what i am protecting or have been protecting all these years.... "feelings" i guess. and then it makes me angry that i am so afraid of someone hurting my feelings... it makes me feel like a child and i am in my 50s. i have let my husband 'parent' me and i am angry about that.... a lot of self anger involved. i am an alcoholic, sober for over 2 years now, but there is a lot of growing up to be done in my life now that i don't have numb feelings and a fogged brain. at times i feel lost and not quite up to facing the challenges of living sober, but i do know i have friends here and support. thank you for being here. jj
I can so relate to telling "half truths" to protect myself. I can spend all sorts of time obsessing and trying to come up with ways to describe a situation or issue so I can put myself in a better light than I think the straight truth would convey.... Most often, it turns out to be easier and less of a drain on my energy to just tell the truth!
For me, it's usually fear that leads me to be less than truthful -- fear that I'll be discovered a fraud, fear that I'll be seen as bad/incompetent/uncaring, fear of criticism in general....
But honesty is so important to me these days, that I try very hard to face those fears and not let them lead me to be dishonest. I can't say that I'm 100% successful, but I can say that when I am truthful after having thought about telling a lie or half truth, being honest feels really, really good.
