This is the pebble rattling around my tin can today, thinking about the thread on success....success as defined by other people...and being shamed into having someone else's definition of success become our own

There are studies that show if you put a person in a room with 9 other people and those 9 people all give a flagrantly wrong answer you begin to believe it, you start believing "Line A" is longer then "Line B", the same study shows we begin to believe lies and opinions if they are repeated often enough by enough people, they even show the same person saying the same thing over and over has the same effect, we begin to believe it's the majority opinion...and take that opinion on as our own

I believe some societal perceptions are good ones, as in we shouldn't really kill and eat each other for example, but as Heath Ledger's Joker observed, remove society's restrictions and this is exactly what takes place, "Lord of the Flies" anyone? I believe a few of my family members are literal sociopaths, as in literally do not possess a conscience, so societal values and fear of repercussions are the only thing keeping these people in check, I also believe that many suffer from this, a quick look through any history will show this to be true, our treatment of the native Americans, Israelis atment of the Palestinians, germany's treatment of the Jews in WWII, the biological necessity of "lebensraum" (living room) culminating in genocide self justified by denial, anyhow I digress, I am not making political observations, I am making biological ones, our "values" of right and wrong are societal and not biological in many cases, I mean every single culture at some point went through a cannibal stage, where they actually did kill and eat people, eeew we say, "That's wrong and bad" and we say we "know" cannibalism is wrong, we don't have to be taught that, but we are, from a very early age the cartoons of the missionary in the pot...we are taught by society it's not OK to eat people...and I'm OK with that

So how far do we go in allowing other peoples perceptions and societal perceptions shape who we are?

I had no idea how shaped I was by being raised in America until I started traveling, I was raised "off the grid" and wasn't allowed to watch TV, wasn't allowed to eat sugar cereals, I was raised by people who had turned their back on today's societal values, who felt ...well, I don't want to get in what they thought, but that basically all we are told by mainstream media and told by our political leaders was BS, this was the age of Nixon after all, and I don't disagree with them, so imagine my surprise when I am in Portugal and talking to other travelers and locals, and they describe me and my personality and my perceptions down to the smallest detail, they picked apart my most secret thoughts, hopes and dreams, amidst howling laughter as my face fell, I had thought that being raised off the grid made me special, made me unique, made my self image different...but they nailed it, and me...literally..to my most secret inner thoughts, they said all Americans thought as I did...the "rebel", slow to anger but terrible in retribution, the cowboy from High Noon, I was a product of Hollywood movies and television shows....celebrating things like Christopher Columbus Day, one of the biggest mass murderers of all time...a product of media mis-information and perceptions...Coke is it, this is the pepsi generation...if I drink Bud light I'll get laid a lot...I need to be thin..and sexy...and buy things...I need to have X, Y and Z to "fit in" to dress a certain way, to talk a certain way, I need to buy fruit of the loom underwear...

So on a smaller scale, on a personal level, how many times have I been shamed into changing my perception, changing my definition of success, shamed into people pleasing behaviors so the pack didn't turn on me like a group of chickens, pecking the strange chicken to death, even if it's a sibling, shamed into hiding what I really think, embarrassed if you really knew who I was, knew what I really thought you wouldn't like me, or even leave me...alone again....

I think that is one of the biggest reasons I love meetings, I have always had one or two friends in my life that tell the truth, say things out loud everyone else is embarrassed to say, too ashamed to say, at meetings I have seen that a lot, someone baring their absolute soul saying the most shameful or embarrassing things and the entire room rolling in laughter because they have all done this...the first time I saw this was one of the first meetings I ever attended, maybe 600 people and the guy said "My name is XXXX and I am an XXXXXX, and I don't have to like you, as a matter of fact I probably don't like most of you....but I have to love you, and I have to answer the phone if you call...the crowd went wild, we were giving him a standing ovation and he was still introducing himself, I was rofling

The sheer courage to stand in front of 600 people and tell them he didn't like us was....awesome...the truth is a beautiful thing, ...but I think we are all allowed to have our own truth.....and I think that...I just don't ever want to allow anyone to ever shame me into believing their version of the truth again

It is incredibly hard to be myself sometimes, to say what I mean and mean what I say sometimes, the fear and bile rise up in my throat...because I am afraid if you really know who I am, really know what I think, you won't like me anymore, and you will leave...and I don't do well with people leaving me, even if I wanted them gone in the first place

Yet as human beings we are capable of having the most amazing double standard, we can be terrified of people judging us and then turn around and judge others....

I'm enough...I'm good enough, and so is my truth...and so is yours

Oh it's a mystery to me.
We have a greed, with which we have agreed...
and you think you have to want more than you need...
until you have it all, you won't be free.

Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.

When you want more than you have, you think you need...
and when you think more then you want, your thoughts begin to bleed.
I think I need to find a bigger place...
cause when you have more than you think, you need more space.

Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.
Society, crazy indeed...
I hope you're not lonely, without me.

There's those thinkin' more or less, less is more,
but if less is more, how you keepin' score?
It means for every point you make, your level drops.
Kinda like you're startin' from the top...
and you can't do that.

Society, you're a crazy breed.
I hope you're not lonely, without me.
Society, crazy indeed...
I hope you're not lonely, without me
Society, have mercy on me.
I hope you're not angry, if I disagree.
Society, crazy indeed.
I hope you're not lonely...
without me.