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Miracles In Progress Codependents Anonymous Group -> Miracles In Progress Codependents Anonymous Group -> Expectations
Post Info TOPIC: Expectations
willing


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Expectations
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I thought this was interesting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KiUq8i9pbE&feature=em-subs_digest-vrecs

Expectations of events and people are my biggest issue in life.  It leads to the most resentments and disappointments.   I am working on that...

Do you struggle with expectations?


Willing



-- Edited by willing on Tuesday 14th of July 2015 07:03:22 AM

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Tampa


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Yes I do. In fact I have this phrase taped to my refrigerator. "An expectation is a premeditated resentment." It's there for a reason!!!

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The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places. - Ernest Hemingway
 

 
nannyg


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I recently stated seeing someone....I find its not expectations I am struggling with but hopes. I hope certain things will happen but they may or may not. I guess that is the nature of all dealings with others hopes/expectations about what he other persons behavior will be like. I am also -so far- accepting f he way things are going. I have been living alone for 4.5 years and except for a brief period of long distance with an ex a couple of yeas ago I haven't been with anyone. I haven't even been attracted to any one in the last couple of years. Clearly I am able to take are of myself and don't "need" a relationship but due to my past behavior I am scared. Scared of jumping in too fast, being rejected, or being cheated on. The main problem is he is actively using drugs.....I have a hope that he will get clean again but not an expectation. Due to my choice of who to date I wonder if I have grown at all, and why I would find someone with his lifestyle attractive. I know what its like to live with a using addict and it was what got me to coda and alanon.

I shared something similar on another board and was on the receiving end of what I should/needed to do. When I replied that we aren't here to give advice/tell others what to do I was was on the receiving end of yet another round of advice as well as being told I have a resentment and need to get over it. It was a longtime member that said it and he result has been I haven't been posting because it doesn't feel like a safe to do so. I guess you could say i have an expectation that I will receive support when people share their experiences not attempt to manage my behavior.

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thanks for listening
fap123


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Thanks for sharing nannyg,
Some things you wrote, made me feel better about staying single and not trying so hard to make a relationship happen. I know I would move to fast into a relationship if the right situation presented itself. I do fine living on my own as well, and as a outsider looking at my friends relationships, I see all the drama and stress they have. I feel less excited to search so hard on Match to find that wonderful woman for me.

After several relationship failures. my expectations bar is set on low. Maybe it's a "premeditated resentment".
Or maybe it's because that the hand life has dealt me, for me to learn how to live without a beautiful woman in my life.
That I can survive and strive without anyone. My past relationships have all been the old ball and chain set up's. Always playing the bread winner in the household.
LOL Just thinking. I could be retire by now, if I didn't get into some of the relationships I was in. One more reason for me to stay single now. I want to retire by the age of 62.

Peace

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Needclarity


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Thanks Willing for the Utube on Expectations, good food for thought, nc



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