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Post Info TOPIC: If something your doing is not working, doing more of it won’t work any better


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If something your doing is not working, doing more of it won’t work any better
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If something your doing is not working, doing more of it won’t work any better.

 

It’s time to start changing one of my bad habits. I try and rationalize an excuse for my dating life, or lack thereof. If someone challenges me on one of my many excuses for not emailing a women online at a dating site. I can argue another excuse; as I have several.

I do this because, I’m afraid, I don’t want to get hurt again, I have thoughts of being un-wanted, and I do not want to hurt the woman feelings.

 

All my excuses project a negative outcome as well as a future. Part of me is still trying to control an event that has not even happened.

 

What if I emailed this yet unknown woman, and she said yes to a date. Why do I need to think about a second or third date at this time?

 

Tonight I have plans to go out to a music event in the area. I suggested a week ago to a woman online, that I might see her there. I’m trying to stay positive and in the moment. I hope she shows up, but didn’t really nail down the plans. If you asked me why not email her now? The first answer that comes to mind is fear.

I guess if I emailed her and she said no, I would have the immediate rejection feeling. If I go, having a chance she might show up. I feel some excitement and not as much pressure if we don’t click. If she doesn’t show up. I can assume she had other plans, and it would be less of a letdown for me.

 

It would be nice to have friends to hang out with for support during times like this. Dating has never been easy for me.   

 

At least I’m making an effort, however small, to push myself out of my comfort zone.

Oh, I almost forgot, All you guys are invited to step out with me tonight. See you there.  

Peace   



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You'll have to let us know how it goes for sure. You sound similar to me in the way you think! I have been divorced almost 2.5 years now and I just started trying out the online dating sites about 4 months ago. Even just talking to a few guys that shared things about themselves and what they want from life, how many kids they have, etc. was enough to throw me into a tailspin downwards.  I was already analyzing how hard it would be trying to be a step mom to teenagers, how they would walk all over me and I wouldn't have any control. I was crying myself to sleep worried about what would happen if i went on a date with this person, and they really liked me but I didn't feel a connection and I stayed in the relationship anyway to spare his feelings.  I thought of how things would be like they had been in the past, allowing things to happen I really didn't like because I put the other person's wants ahead of mine always and don't voice an opinion.  I took a break to say the least!



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The evening air had just enough chill. That this beautiful woman, who wore a sexy short dress, encouraged me to hold her tight in my arms to keep her warm as we listen to the music of the 70 and 80. Her voice sounded like an angel as she sung quietly into my ear along with the band playing a James Taylor song called "How sweet it is to be loved by you". We talked about each others dreams and desires. She wore a sexy smelling perfume that had me at hello, with a smile that melted my heart.














OK fap123 wake up. Part of the steps are honesty.

So honestly I was just telling what I will be dreaming might happen if and when I find someone to date.

I did email one woman who looked at my profile about an hour before I went downtown. I invited her to check out my picture as I did hers, So we might recognize one another. But I did not see either one of the women. Surprise Surprize.

At least I moved a little further out of my comfort zone today.

Peace




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Fap123, you are so funny.  Nice little dream! 

 

Congrats on the courage to get out there!  Keep going!

 

Willing



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Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you.   ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned. ~St. Francis of Assisi

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