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Post Info TOPIC: Help with starting-Online sponsor


Newbie

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Help with starting-Online sponsor
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Hi all,

Does anyone know how I could get a sponsor online or how to find skype meetings. I've been codependent all my life and it makes life very lonely and difficult. I'm in recovery from other substances for years and know the 12 steps well but have never had any idea how I apply them to my codependence even though I've tried so I really need someone who has done it to offer some guidance. I've tried a few face to face meetings but they are very small where I am and everybody is pretty new so we are all as muddled as each other. Plus I had hoped that an online sponsor would make boundaries nice and simple. Any guidance would be appreciated as willing myself to be non codependent or trying to read literature and do it on my own just doesn't work and it really does ruin my life. Thanks



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Guru

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Hello Burbumba,

We are currently not a very active board so I don't know how much luck you will have finding a sponsor here. 

That said, we have a lot of resources here and would love to give you our experience around working the steps if you care to look through the materials and comment. 

 

Willing



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Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you.   ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned. ~St. Francis of Assisi



Newbie

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Ok thanks very much for replying

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Newbie

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Hi, Please consider looking for a sponsor (with whom you can work the Steps) in the following areas:

1. Your home group or another local CoDA group: Ask someone if they are willing to sponsor you, even temporarily. Perhaps a list is passed around at a meeting of available sponsors. If you think someone else in a meeting is a better fit for you, ask them.

2. Attend other meetings in your area or a phone or online meeting (phone and online meeting can be searched like face to face meetings on CoDA.org).

3. Contact your intergroup or area group to see if they have a list or suggestions to where to meet sponsors. Intergroup members may be willing to sponsor or connect you to others who may be willing.

4. Attend CoDA events. Local or regional CoDA events are excellent ways to meet people for sponsorship.

Nothing replaces the face to face connection in a relationship. By hearing members share we are able to make the best choice for ourselves to connect with someone we relate to. It is a big recovery step to ask someone to be part of our recovery.

Additional options for sponsorship and working the Steps include:
• Co-Sponsoring – Where two people agree to sponsor each other to work the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. This works very well to lay a foundation to get the confidence to sponsor going forward. It is also a great way to do service if you are attending a meeting with few people willing to sponsor.
• Step Study Group -This is a group of codependents in recovery who agree to work the Twelve Steps together often in a closed group (not a formal CoDA meeting). The use of the CoDA Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Workbook is a helpful guide. Members are encouraged to make contact outside of the regular meeting times. Being involved in such relationships give us an opportunity to change unwanted patterns that interfere with our ability to relate with others. We learn another way to choose the people we want to invite into our lives.
• Telephone and/or online sponsors: When an in-person sponsorship is impossible, there are additional options for sponsorship at a distance, such as on the phone, Skype or other online methods.

There is a booklet on sponsorship if you are seeking more information at the CoDA Bookstore (direct link below)

litstore.coda.org/index.php

If you still are unable to find a sponsor after exploring the above, feel free to contact:

sponsorship@coda.org

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Newbie

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Thank you very much

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Member

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I.don't think boundaries are simple. They are kinda complicated. I went to on line meetings fir a long time. They were pretty.good but face to face really helps. Even if you get face to face it is pretty difficult to ensure a meeting stays the same. I know I akways wanted recovery on a plate. I think it's pretty complex work. Therapy helps, books help, there is a lot if help. But personally I think boundaries are some if the hardest work there is. Maresie

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Mary T Dowd
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