The temptation of getting involved with a family member rough marital problems has been brought into my awareness. My first reaction was to help. But after remembering back to my own relationship issue. I would have been offended with someone telling me to leave the relationship. (even though looking back it was the right answer, I just prolonged the process).
My family member relationship marriage has dissolved to such a point, that I think it is just a matter of time before it ends in some way. Much like my relationship ended. I was trying to control the process all the way to the end to no avail.
I will try and comfort my family member, but refuse to give them the answer to solve the problem. The decisions must be theirs and theirs alone.
It's hard to watch this stuff from the side lines but If I do more I will become the bad guy in the future should the family member have a change of heart or feel like they are worse off.
And as painful as the process is. There is a lesson that can only be learned by going through it.
When I got into recovery and learned to share my experience, strength and hope I started to apply that to all areas of my life and it has been amazing. I try to avoid giving advice and simply share similar experiences. If I have not had similar experiences I state that and ask them what they feel their options are and how they feel about those options. Just be a sounding board.
My best to your family member as they navigate this difficult time.
Willing
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Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned. ~St. Francis of Assisi
