I am new here. I have never done anything like this before. I am married to a man with many addictions and it is ruining every relationship I have. I had a stroke 4 years ago due to tremendous stress and the loss of a step daughter. I also have MS and it is a trying journey of its own. His addictions run everything and I allow the behavior .. I am so nervous doing this but feel it is what I need. I have wonderful grandchildren that need me to be myself again and my daughter deserves her mom back. I used to be strong and independent. I can not stand the sad broken person I have become.
I only started the steps a few weeks ago. I found out I was codependent last November, it was like a light bulb switch on in my head, I began with my family of origin and my dysfunctional upbringing, I have done lots of research via sites and books, plus I have a therapist and online sponsor. It is hard but as they say the rewards are worth it.. and your worth it. Being coda it's hard for me to face the challenges but I know I have to if I am to become a healthier person mostly for myself but also for those close to me. The only way to do this I found was to be honest with myself even if I struggled to see/believe/understand it at first. I am already seeing some positive changes in me.
You have an awesome attitude .. I think I have known for a few years honestly. I am going to take it one little step at a time. How did you find your online sponsor? I am looking forward to the day I can actually have a healthy relationship. I do not have access to meetings in my area. The closest coda meeting is 40 minutes from here. You seem very self aware. I am trying to get there. Good luck to you. Thanks for replying.
One little step at a time is a great idea, when I first found out I wanted to know it all yesterday and ended up over whelming myself more so, so began to slow down and take it at a healthy pace, especially when I realised this is a life time process of learning new things all of the time.
My sponsor luckily came to me when she shared she was available to sponsor on another site, the only down side is her time difference as she lives in another country. But I will take what I can get for now as I know finding one is hard.
I have began a coda meeting even though it is also 40 mins away I find it so worth while and hopefully will find a face to face sponsor in time. There are on-line meetings.
It takes time and patience but yes my self awareness has much improved to what it was and you will get there too
Best wishes
Keep coming back and let us know how you are doing :)
