Today, I got up early (for a change) and headed out to a "gig" at a senior center a few miles from here (I play sax).  As I drove along, I kept thinking about how bad the band of "old guys" might be or that the crowd would be tired, bored and "out of it" so all of that negativity would bug me and spoil the (free) gig and I almost left the freeway to come back home BUT........I suddenly remembered my old guru back when I was 19 who told me to just "ENJOY LIFE" since there wasn't much I could do about where I was born, who raised me (so badly), the government, the weather, etc. so I might as well just enjoy life as much as possible while I'm still alive and relatively healthy.  I am pretty healthy for 79 and I can enjoy many things IF I put my mind to it, so I went on to the Senior Center, played in the (pretty good) band, got huge applause from the old folks there who were healthy enough to dance and enjoy all of it and I had a BALL!  I was so glad my early childhood programming to dislike the "possibility" of being disappointed was overturned by the lessons about Enjoying Life that came to me from my 1st guru at about 19 had somehow came back to me before I gave up and went back home.  It was a BLAST!  The Seniors were fun, the band was fun, the music was fin and I HAD FUN only because my 1st guru helped me BELIEVE that I can enjoy, and embrace just about anything that is here.  The story of how he came up with the concept about Enjoying life is long but basically it's just about loving and enjoying my life AS IT IS - RIGHT NOW! - to the best of my ability and NOT let my early childhood unhappy, depressed, fearful, angry PROGRAMMING run my life or ruin it.  I have long known that Recovery is mostly about undoing unhealthy early conditioning and replacing it with something healthier so, once again, that is what I did today and I ENJOYED IT!!!! 

I also want to mention that I once lived briefly in Italy with a young piano player and, one day his brother dropped by so we 3 went out to cruise the town.  None of us had much $$$ so we didn't go drinking in the bars but just walked the streets of Milan, Italy.  The two brothers were having an absolute BLAST as we strolled along.  They were amused by and laughed at almost everything we encountered.   They made playful, harmless  jokes and seemed to truly enjoy EVERYTHING along the way with NO typical teenager arrogance or cynicism like we have in the US.  I had trouble seeing what was so funny or pleasant about some things and soon became 'worn out" but the 2 brothers were happily and lightly pleased by ALL OF IT.   I still remember how happy and light hearted those two kids were as we joyfully strolled through town WITHOUT A CARE!  Being burdened with lots of childhood pain and self contempt, I did not understood what they had or how they were able to see and experience life so joyfully but maybe they were raised with love and self respect.  They LOVED LIFE!  Thanks to CODA,  I have finally come to see life pretty much like those two happy Italian kids, I LOVE IT!