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Post Info TOPIC: Newbie with basic questions and help with my situation please


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Newbie with basic questions and help with my situation please

Just found this area after doing a search wondering IF I need an Al Anon or Codependents Anonymous meetings.  My partner is 16 years sober but NOT a "recovering alcoholic" meaning that he does NOT attend AA meetings feeling he doesn't "need them"...  I am actively working on my Overeaters Anonymous recovery having completed the 12-steps using mostly the Big Book, questions related to my readings, attending to OA meetings and having a very good Sponsor which I'm so grateful for.  I have had a Spiritual awakening having done these steps so far and even returned and found a church I now connect with(even scheduled to do some volunteering service there!)... I have noticed that his behavior in many ways seriously affects MY recovery and while I use my tools to help me, pray and meditate, I am constantly being "challenged" mostly related to my REACTION to his behaviors.  There are other problems w/this relationship and we DID break up bc he started drinking when we were planning our wedding over 17 yrs ago. I haven't married him and won't bc of the high risk of his non-recovery status w/meetings... I took him back, he moved into my home and does contribute to MORE than his share of the financing in keeping the maintenance of the home going.  I love him for so many positive characteristics but I guess my question is the REACTION to the things he does that frustrate me and make me pause to question WHY I do what I do.  Can someone direct me to a post here or help give me some guidance on what type of meeting I should be attending to separate the reality of my reactions?  I found an AL ANON meeting for Monday and will meeting someone I met recently at an OA Convention who I guess has some similar issues w/an alcoholic or person "needing" a 12-step program.  Hope this wasn't too long.  Also, I am retired and the thought of starting over after a possible break up isn't something I could handle at this time.  Thank you ahead of time for your thoughts.


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  Hi Olga,

              I do Coda, Alanon and ACA... these all cover basic, and similar, issues in relationships.

Lately I turned the word "adult" into a verb. I have been through the steps a few times- and these days I like to stretch my legs- and enjoy adult to adult conversations.

About the kinds of journeys we all share along the way. Lately I have been doing a lot of conscious breathing... keeping my body on maintenance level; and maintaining a balance on my stress- anxiety. I try not to isolate- something that was a lifetime habit.

My experience with a higher power has come more into the present moment. Staying present has been a lifesaver for me!

Nice to see your posting here... smile We do not have an egg timer on the table here- no table! So it is okay to share as much as we need.



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