The title pretty much sums it up. Been in one disastrous event after the other my entire life not realizing I am a prime CODA candidate. This is a relatively new understanding of myself. I've read the traits, characteristics and behavior models posted on a number of information sites. I hit about 85-90% as if it were a surgical missile strike. At least that's how it felt.
I'm looking for meetings in my area. I found a few good resources and there are some chapters. Good to know. I know this is not the place for this and probably a protocol breach but I am desperate to be whole again. I'm facing a very painful divorce. It's one sided. She wants it because, well, she has her reasons. I don't because I'm a CODA poster child and emotionally convinced life will be over and happiness forever unobtainable. Looking to myself for affirmation and self love is an almost impossible concept.
For the record I am not reaching out in hopes someone will save me. I'm grasping for something to save myself. I know that comes from within. I just need the tools and some guidance would be helpful. This is uncharted territory.
I have been where you are more/less. I have this religious practice that helps me detach from "things" but I don't think it is necessarily a good thing to share that here? I don't know.. maybe religion is disparaged here? I have been to 12 step mtgs b4 where it was kind of frowned on but never totally prohibited. Also, I don't want to identify with any particular "denomination" so .. but all I know is that this practice helps me a lot. Sometimes we are so involved in a situation or relationship that we can't see our way out of it and we are overwhelmed and don't know what to do. As you know, others can derail our lives. That's why I stay out of romantic relationships even though I feel i need someone to hold onto.. been alone for a very long time (some in this modern world would say too long, but it's never too long if you dont have the right one and dont even know where to look for such a person. I pray for you (I hope you are not an atheist who takes offense to that!)
