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Post Info TOPIC: Reining in cross-talk at 12 Step meetings.

Senior Member

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Reining in cross-talk at 12 Step meetings.

Oh yes!

I do have a face 2 face meeting. About an hour away from here. [AFG meeting].

They have made me a group rep for our meeting. I went to an assembly last weekend. smile ...

In my report I made something clear- we have a -no cross-talk- guideline for the core of our meeting.

I think that this is good news for co-dependents every where.

I also belong to an online AFG meeting. It is mostly based on -old method- "take what you like and leave the rest" approach.

Tradition 4. 

However every month the group has a major crisis. Usually somebody different is blamed for this every time.

Rather than ignore share people do not agree with- people get stuck in and take a share personally.

it only takes one member to "report' an aberrant share to the moderator and they can be banned.

It is a really unhealthy and scary environment.  aww

A recipe for feelings of rejection and abandonment. The opposite of what we go to meetings for. 

At our home group people come early and stay after.

Instead of claiming people up- it is opening people up- with our criss talk guideline.

Listening to the sharing I always keep thinking- that's me, that's me!

But I just do not butt in!

Sometime- at some future meeting the connection might come out- but I have not stolen another person's thunder.

It is dynamic- and keep people interest in the group up- at a high pitch.

People are not being offered solutions. People are creating solutions for themselves.

The opposite of codependence is independence. And interdependence is also an option.

The delightful irony is- that people are chatty and happy- during our greeting time, and our coffee time. 

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