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Post Info TOPIC: I will stand on a street corner... or on a mountain top...


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I will stand on a street corner... or on a mountain top...
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STEP 8...

I will stand on a street corner... or on a mountain top... to do my programme really.

It has been fairly successful, overall.

Facebook is a mixed blessing for some. Personally i find that it helps bring family and community together.

And this depends on how we choose to use tools, like this... aww ...

 

In the early 70's we lived in fairly full houses and hung out together.

School, was a dead loss for me- as a rite of passage. I was not athletic.

 

A friend from those day spotted up a few old photos. This sparked a response... coming out of lock-down here the timing was great. aww...

One former girlfriend cropped up.

I had done 8 and 9... and figured that some things were best dealt with, as the opportunity presented itself- in-time-acy...

I felt that to pioneer AA approach- to start on day two was a good one. A way of burning the bridges back to drinking- of possible.

So, any way- with "K." the time had arrived- albeit a few years late.

So, then hear we go!

 

Have been interested in the topic of projection lately. Gaslighting being the worst form of it.

i suspect that the only way through this is to be aware; conscious, of our own personal projections.

And to be aware when we are being bullied and pushed around. Being able to detach, if not actually leave the situation.

I hold my ground, sometimes- and moving past the log-jam has bought growth in relationships...

...but I think being aware of the potential for this- when it happens- is the key. 

 

A wet start to the day here... with icing sugar snow- on the hills...

...today I am carting in topsoil...

and, at the same time balancing the physical labour with writing and reflection. aww ...

smile Thanks heaps for reading this! aww...

 

Feel free to respond, if you wish. aww ...



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...waiting patiently for a response.

I won't quote what response I get- but I may summarise my reaction. 

 

.some time after we got back from our Auckland tour- I felt that I treated you really badly...
 
 
 
 
 

You sent

 
 
 
...a turning point in my life- I would rather have not taken....


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I am experimenting a fair bit- on myself primarily
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 Brain fog- dissociation- depression- psychosis...

Bin in the field of trauma- C-PTSD.

In the MIP Alanon group I got reported for using that latter akronym...

to the "Mod" and had the skids put under me. Random, in my view.

 

Anyway... bin a tough life. Impossible at times- just made it through. Only just, really.

Gotta whole heap of self-help books on my shelf. Thinking, sometime, of recapitulation and seeing the trail I blazed to today.

 

Wanted to record- this old girlfriend stuff. Done a Step 8 with her. her response to do an amends with me! smile

I told her I wanted to spend weeks, months, years catching up. She said yep- she wanted to go with something like that.

Someone posted a photo of us together- aged 19 and 21. Doing photos can be big in ACA. Big anywhere, really. So we reflected

actively together on this b&w photo.

Someone said that if you remember the 70's you weren't there. A fair bit in that! 

I think I might have a wakening conscience. The only way of knowing is in relation to other people...

...old friends, if possible, are a really great source. aww...

 

I got angry, got embarrassed, got compassionate- over the MIP Alanon board- which I can read, but can't post on.

Liking the quality of the posts there- and the kind of momentum I can sense.

Alanon, in the USA sort of goes from tradition 1 to Trad. 7, more or less.

Not much in between.

Knowledge of 12 Concepts- zilch, let along how they might he applied in practise. hmm...

 

I Have a f2f meeting tonight, May only be two of us. 



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RE: I will stand on a street corner... or on a mountain top...
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I have a way of sorting out what my boundaries would be...

 

coffee out, or coffee in; dinner out or dinner in.

As a write this I see a message from K. coming though...

At the moment I am looking at the idea that anticipation is a recipe for disappointment.

I put this into my Step 11 time... to sort out the truth or otherwise of that idea.

K. lives about 3 hours away. Would like to see her in person early next year.

Thoughts are- to maybe spend a day together, but not an evening. 



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earthy...
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 Miss Michael Learned was a fine actress.

One time, in The Waltons an old flame came to the mountain.

Though a family show- this showed "Mom' in a really human light.

 

At the moment I am renewing acquaintance with an old girlfriend... ... which is sweet and evocative.

The

No point in going back and starting all over. Life is not like that. :(

 

 



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