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Post Info TOPIC: own therapist- speaks to the world...

Senior Member

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Posts: 278
Date: own therapist- speaks to the world...


  aww The Butterfly Effect... drew me to Emma's work.

I do want to change the world- and let it begin with me!

I am deeply saddened about how some people's lives are.


We need 100's of 1000's and millions us- all working together in our networks-

to bring about change, of all sorts.

Emma costs me $20 per week.

I see her every two months, at the moment. smile

I basically do all the work- of letting go- myself really.

And she guides and coaches me. aww ...


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 278
Date: relapse a part of the process?


 aww Self Help, as a concept sprang into being in 1859. A chap, with the unlikely name of Sam Smiles wrote a book of that name- which was reprinted for 60 years. Of course religions have been proving some sort of salvation for millennia.

Even, too. Protestant religion was promoting abstinence from alcohol, temperance, through the 20th century.

For me, 2021, the consumer society has a way of promoting dependency activities.

Of creating needs, where more emotional and survival needs would be needed.

The rule of need over want. 

I have been going over the podcast pinned up above.

I used music a lot on my healing- and singing too.

Dr. Naismith seems a bit querulous and naive... a stance stance for the interview.

I know Emma Ferris, personally, as my therapist- so I am much more "in there", than with some random guru.

I say with heavy words:- Get out on the journey, as young as you possibly can. 

I say this- because I am 70 now- and just making it in... before I miss the boat.

Stephen Porges, Bessel Van Der Kolk and other experts can point to the physiology.

I have done okay doing Emma's initial breathing course. But the habits of a lifetime dragged me backwards.

"You can't teach an old dog new tricks."

So I have had to battle this one, essentially, by letting go. Pure and simple. 


Senior Member

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Posts: 278
RE: own therapist- speaks to the world...


 aww"Half measures avail us nothing," comes from the most successful self-help manual in the world- the AA Big Book.

It was not able to cure everyone, of course. But people, who went to meetings, and stuck with it, had good results.

I attend fewer meetings now- and mine are Alanon and ACA, mostly. Over lockdown I realise that I am no longer a newcomer.

I attended a chat meeting today, at midday.

I realised that I no longer have that heavy brain fog- disocciation which once bedevilled me. I can think clearly. I can join in

with friendliness and good humour mostly.

There is something going on, at the moment, that I cannot put my finger on.

But I know- from the past that this will surface, in it's own time- in a natural healing way.

Our meeting has a no-crosstalk guideline and I came into this thread to share something that arose for me, from the meeting.

15, is so years ago I had awful gum disease. I know that it reflected the condition of the rest of my body, and that it could

shorten my life by 6 or 10 years...

...I had limited means, being a field worker, really. But I got to the Dental School in the city. They had a look.

Then the person ahead of me missed an appoint meant and I got it. So I got my gums all fixed, and impacted wisdom teeth removed

at a fraction of the actual cost.

it was my dentist, not my doctor- who told me- that something had shifted in m inner world- and that i was relaxed-

and that my body was functioning much better overall.

Since then have discover and uncovered a number of different vital stressors in my world- that i have been able to address, one by one.

One time I had fear and loathing in the pit of my gut. Not right this moment, though. That seems to have lifted permanently.

In "The Body Keeps the Score" Bessel van der Kolk details the body's internal responses to trauma.

Currently I can feel it in my chest area...

There is emotional language there, and buried memory...

all I do now is apply step 11 to the situation, gently... aww ...


Senior Member

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Posts: 278


  hmm I got banned from 5 of the Miracles in Progress Boards- essentially for sticking up for other people.

I don't see the point in people coming into a 12 Step group with abandonment issues, and getting banned.

People can leave if they wish- of course. But in any 12 Step group there is a process to follow- if someone

want to question a banning.

People should be regarded as innocent unless proven otherwise.

This is the story of my rite of passage out of home at the age of 17.

Mum and dad came home from the pub about 7 pm.

My started to get stuck into my sister- verbally because she didn't have tea on the table.

[This is pre-feminist 1968- or I would have shared that responsibility.]

I piped up and said that she didn't have tea on the table, because there wasn't anything on the house to cook.

I will remember the words all my living days.

Mum turned to dad- and said:- that boy is getting too big for this boots- better sort him out.

Me and my brother slept over the yard in a sleep-out. 

A little later dad came over and told both of us- that if we didn't like it around here we could f*** off. 

Reflection:- that was probably more of the lightest form of toxic family- in the whole epantheon of family stories I have heard.

I was an A, student, but at that stage my grades were starting to slip.

And my concentration and peace of mind had been down since I was 8 or nine.

I hav heard sharing from people who have witnessed murder or suicide!

But at that age my dad told me that he wanted to kill himself.

My mum noticed at the time that I had changed- gone into my shell.

She didn't ask what was up, or anything, She group head troubles enough, of her own.

I could not live with a group that ban's members-

without having the chance to stick up for themselves, or to have someone stick up for them, if they wanted that. 


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 278


  aww It is not just about retraining the brain...

rewiring the whole body and rebuilding. 

Or rather, backing off, being in the molument and being calm- and allowing the body to restore itself.

I could imagine some people throwing up their hands in shock- and saying:- wheel in the experts!

There are experts. The ones I listen too on you tube are all very old. All very exclusive- and all Americans.

For me- I use the akronym T.I.N.A.

There Is No Alternative. Try my best-or die, really.

Or feeling just so bad all that all I want to do is kill myself.

In AA especially service is recommended as a way forward.

A codependent will be very careful to put themselves first before sacrificing their time, or their life to rescue the people.

I found that there is a balance there- my own balance and not other people's.

I wanted to be an example of good recovery- rather than someone who told other people what to do.

That is really codependency 101.

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