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Post Info TOPIC: A way out- and a way back to self...

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A way out- and a way back to self...


  aww "The Journey" is a sort of a cliche. I will have scoffed at it- more than once!

The World- life seems impossible.

It seems terrible and horrible in the lives of so many people I am aware of.

I am powerless to help or save everybody. I know of countless people who take on rescue dogs.

A step in the right direction.

But how many people decide to take on rescue people... ???

! And aint that the reason we have to have CODA groups?

Because people get burned and wretched from trying to save others?

Oh yes!

But on the other hand- in our groups-  we are encouraged into a life of service.

We need healthy functional groups- made up of members, where we can all learn to do this.

Our groups are not a product- in themselves.

They can not be expected, on their own to deliver results.

it is us, and all of us, within the groups- that create the group in the first place.

We have a rite of passage, a ritual of encounter, for people coming into groups, in the first place.

Mostly we are not at all aware of this- especially if we are dazed and broken- from the outside world...

...this is a luxury- in the far flung part of the world- but when a group gets to a certain size- critical mass-

it is mostly a really good idea to start having two or meetings a week- so that people do get the chance to share,

and participate.

If getting a sponsor does not work out- a smaller group of three or four people may do just as well- even better...

In AoNZ we are moving towards mass vaccination for covid. We have had another death, bring the number up to about 27 or 28.

There is a massive amount of economic rebuilding to be done!

Our local Alanon Family Group meet this evening.

We have managed to keep the core of the group intact.

Against all odds. aww ...


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 278


  aww We can't cure trauma and we can't cure cancer!

But we may be able to prevent them- if we act early enough.

Or mitigate the harm, or even force the conditions into remission. Urge them.

i have a friend with cancer. Being a keen sort of person I am wondering- along with care and empathy-

I can encourage her to put her should down a bit- and try to push through it. 

In the mean time I am working with me. This morning I slept in until 8. I often stretch out in bed and do my meditations there. Where it is warm and snug. I have a companion close by, of course- and this does not disturb her.

I have done a lot of inner child work. Trying to locate the lost and recover the hurt self.

I imagined this morning a baby reaching out and curling fingers around a little finger. A pinky.

I did this with myself- with both hands- and both little fingers.

I got a subtle but true body tingle out of this- for the first time anyway!

I plan to go back to this one!

Then went on step further. This might sound a bit kinky- or even perverted!

Actually it is the opposite!

I think we all care far touch about what other people might think us. Far to much.

Fact is the rest of the world could't care less if David G sucks the end of his little finger!

So- I put the end of my little finger in mouth and gently sucked in it. Did it with both fingers.

And I massaged the end of the finger with my tongue as well!

Reflection and this week's exercise.

How often these days do we se a child sucking their thumb?

These days kids are self and cuddled and kissed by parents. Mothers are first parents, of course!

But these days fathers are involved as well.

The great anthropologists Ruth Benedict recruited two cultural models- the Appollonian and the Dionysian... "Patterns of Culture" 1934.

In my day kids were pushed off the knee as soon as they could walk. The was child psychologist in the 1920's who railed against "spoiling" a child. As kid I heard the world "spoiled" a lot.

My father, both grandfather and grandmother had all served in the armed forces.

Military training was harsh- and it had to be in the face of warfare. Two world wars. 

Our generation- baby boomers- were very restless and wanted change.

So, long story short- some form of self-soothing works for me. aww ... 

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