Hi...I'm new to all this..not sure where I belong. My 16 year old son went in for treatment for drug abuse..stayed 30 days. Came home 2 days ago. I'm stuck in trying to provide the best home for recovery. He scares me because since he has been home he has not changed his environment. Still sees the kids he used to hook up with. Went to a couple meetings..didn't relapse yet, but I am crazy with anxiety. I know it is his recovery. I can't let it rule my life but it does. I haven't slept. I struggle trying not to nag or get on his back but I know if I just let it go...we might be back to the nonsense that sent him to rehab. I wish I knew what I was doing....if I am making it worse...this is a terrible disease....
Like you, i can tend to obsess about my 26 year old son whom Ive bailed out of jail a couple of times. I've relapsed in my codependency because of this obsession. But I'm relearning my powelessness over others and my life has become unmanageable. Somehow I find some strength in admitting that I am powerless and in surrendering control over to my HP.
I don't share your experience with my 18 year old, though I do have codependency issues with her in other areas (spoil her rotten and don't make her do a thing to earn it). But I wanted to welcome you to MIP. There are a lot of good resources here - we are doing a book study and step study - plus each of us are sharing our stories and ES&H to help each other learn and grow.
For me, it has been such a eye opening journey to learn how to approach life differently, not having nearly as much control as I thought. I used to be like a little mouse on a wheel - but the wheel wouldn't turn so I would sit and run in place - frustrated, upset, kick, scream . . . the thought never occurred to me to just get off the wheel.
Thank you so much for your welcome. I am trying to work through the worry and obsession about his recovery. He is so young, so much to look forward to. I maybe wouldn't think about it so much if he wasn't in my home. It's up to me to get him to meetings and try to maintain a home full of love and support. I appreciate all your well wishes.
Tonight I went to my first family to family meeting in my area. It helped to listen. I tried to talk but I cried. Which I do alot of when I think of where my family is today. My son is an addict. I know I need ala-non and that is where I am going to start healing. I am determined to find peace and happiness in my life...Thanks for all the kind words and welcoming. Those small things help me.
