We should learn not to grow impatient with the slow healing process of time. We should discipline ourselves to recognize that there are many steps to be taken along the highway leading from sorrow to renewed serenity... We should anticipate these stages in our emotional convalescence: unbearable pain, poignant grief, empty days, resistance to consolation, disinterestedness in life, gradually giving way . . . to the new weaving of a pattern of action and the acceptance of the irresistible challenge of life. —Joshua Loth Liebman
Recovery is a process. It is a gradual process, a healing process, and a spiritual process - a journey rather than a destination.
Just as codependency takes on a life of its own and is progressive, so recovery progresses. One thing leads to another and things - as well as us - get better.
We can relax, do our part, and let the rest happen.
Today, I will trust this process and this journey that I have undertaken.
For those times I slip back into old behaviors and end up in the same old spots ... my recovery can still help me. Healing. It is something I am getting better at ... I must admit with some chagrin - I would prefer not to get into this spot in the first place. But alas, I am but a human and do repeat mistakes on occassion.
It is definitely progress not perfection and when I fall on my face because I didn't do what I was supposed to do, the program is still there to pick me up. It helps me heal and is often not a fast process. It takes time to go through the feelings that hurt brings ... denial, anger, acceptance, ownership, identification of behaviors to change, and forgiveness. I do not want to carry these burdens or not learn from my mistakes and carry them into the future. I do not want the guilt and shame that seems to come along with it regardless if you deserve it or not. I don't want them in my daily life and I definately don't want them with me in a future relationship.
The program and the support it offers helps through those times when I am aching and that little voice says "Call him/her and it will be ok. They will come and take care of me." Even if I know in my heart of hearts that within an hour of them showing up we will be right back to where we before. Nothing changes if nothing changes. The program reminds me that "this too shall pass". It gives me fellowship, love and understanding. It helps me find clarity and honesty if I am not seeing (or denying) my part clearly. It helps me go from anger and defensiveness to acceptance and compassion MUCH faster than I used to.
-- Edited by willing on Monday 12th of September 2011 06:25:09 PM
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Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned. ~St. Francis of Assisi
I know what that feels like, to be aching and hear that little voice! It's only in times of loneliness and inactivity that I miss my relationship and think about contacting my ex-boyfriend. I know I can't do it even though we told each other we'd be friends. This happened last night and I went to the gym instead, and ended up feeling a lot happier and more focused!
I am so grateful for your reminder that "this too shall pass". Thanx willing!
