you see i have just branched out on my own 5 months ago and i was very codependant on my mom and siblings and now it seems i have issues doing anything on my own. how is the best way to fix that?
That was a pretty cool song, I remember when I started my journey in CODA, how I felt like I was starting all over again. Years of my life wasted and wondering, "What do I do now".
I like listening to music and the lyrics of songs. Seems I pay more attention now-a-days. (sorry if that's not a word). to the lyrics
This was a song title I would listen to when I started my journey toward recovery of a better me. "Bob Carlisle -- We Fall Down"
It help me to realize I don't have to be perfect anymore. I just need to do my best today.
I think with co dependence comes an unfamiliarity with acknowledging your own needs and wants. I think the best start if to focus on yourself. It isn't selfish or bad, but try to look at each situation on how it benefits YOU. What is in YOUR best interest?
"you see i have just branched out on my own 5 months ago and i was very codependant on my mom and siblings and now it seems i have issues doing anything on my own. how is the best way to fix that?"
Sorry if my answer is blunt, but this is what popped into my head ...
"Practice"
That's it! Practice not succumbing to your fears and try to stay away from "I can't". Just keep trying. The more you try the better you become at being independent, self-reliant, strong and self-loving.
My daughter used to have issues doing things on her own so I made her. Sounds bad, but she would not want to do things like ... maybe go to the counter at a restaurant and ask for salt ... or whatever it was. I made her do it. It was scary for her, she was young and shy. Eventually she got over it.
I have conflict issues BIG TIME. Even after YEARS in recovery. I can read all I want about it, but until I practice it I won't get better. I work on it, I talk about it, and eventually I know I will get past it.
Feel free to keep coming back here and sharing your experience. We are here for you and will share things that have worked for us.
Willing
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Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned. ~St. Francis of Assisi
