I have spent many years caring for others and as I come from a very large family there are a few that I have used the Karpman Dram triangle on. I know from the twelve steps how to detach with love but I am having great difficulty with letting go of my only grandchild who is 4 years old. From circumstances after having my son and his family stay with me, I am experiencing hurt and pain that I cannot cope with to well.
My son and his wife will not allow me to have contact with him and there is no real explanation to this at all. I know that they must have their reason but all I have been is loving too giving as usual. I have always givien into my son losing many thousands of pounds for his desperate needs. I know I want to let go but my head hurts so much and this has become another obsession.
Welcome to MIP, Berni. I hear you & I can understand your pain. I haven't got long to share but I do want to acknowledge you & perhaps give a kind word if it helps. I'm sorry I can't give more right now. I hope others may share with you too.
My offering in your hours of need is to share with you a small thing that has sometimes helped me. When I'm struggling to let go of someone & I'm frightened for their wellbeing, it helps me to remember they belong to God & that God has them in His all powerful, all wise care. Does it help to remember this as part of your Steps 1-3?
When God speaks He tells me everything will be ok & that all things are happening for a reason & it will be for the good. Please keep your heart & be good to you. God bless. I hope you can touch your prayer place & continue to gain strength. In support & fellowship, lilmzx
Thank you so much for your loving kind words. I will do my best to let go of my grandchild now and allow him to grow in god's arms even though I am unable to cuddle up to him any more.
hi Berni, i am a long distance Grandma and was very hurt that when i would plan to go see my kids and grand baby, it would not work out. it hurt deeply. i had people praying about the situation but i got impatient and stuck my foot in it. my daughter in law cussed me for letting her know how i felt. God still worked it out. she sent me an invitation to the baby's birthday party and asked me to babysit while they decorated the park. and here i never thought i would see the baby, and 3 weeks later i was asked to babysit.... there are real miracles, i know, because that was one. keep on loving the baby and kids, with prayers and thanksgiving, things will change. the one constant in our lives is change. hugs from jj/sheila