Sometimes in relationships, we come to a point where we realize that the relationship has become unhealthy and destructive to our emotional, physical, or spiritual well being. It is a painful realization, and often we try many things to try to make things work and hold on a lot longer than perhaps intellectually we know we should. Being in a toxic relationship often leads to feeling of low self worth, sadness, depression, and inertia. However, there comes a point where the pain of staying becomes enough motivation to make a change. Here are 3 steps to releasing a toxic relationship:
1. Honor your emotions. You had many good times with this person, and it is perfectly normal and all right to grieve the loss of the good times. Just remember that the situation was a package deal, and all the bad went along with all the good. Journal your feelings, talk them out with a counselor and/or friends, and cry when you need to. Facing the emotions and working through them is the best way to get past them.
2. Spend as much time around positive, uplifting, loving and supportive people as you can. You have been through a very traumatic event both in terms of the relationship as well as the experience of the break up. Process your emotions, but don't isolate yourself. Often a toxic partner criticizes and demeans you enough that your self esteem is really damaged. Being around positive and loving friends and family helps to reprogram the negative messages you've assimilated from your ex partner.
3. Take good care of yourself physically. Eat healthy food, take vitamins and supplements if needed, and exercise regularly. The more you can support your physical body, the more you stand to improve your emotional and mental state. Take time to honor yourself by taking care of yourself well. You deserve it.
This really touches my heart because I have lost & have had to let go of everyone I've ever cared about. Growing up, my family life was filled with violence, alcoholism, and all kinds of abuse toward my mother and I. My parents were violent alcoholics who then were abusive to each other, me but not so much towards my sister (1/2 sister). I've been disinherited by both parents, cut off by my sister who recently inherited all that was my mom's as she died in Jan. Both of my sons have cut me off and I've lost 4 husbands. Three thought I was too sick to live with and the 4th suicided in 2006. I kept trying to fix things right up until the end. Even with my mom, I was determined to make our relationship work but she never believed in me. Now she's gone and I am trying to let go rather than keep beating a dead horse...no pun intended. I can't understand why I am so unlovable.