so I go to my first volunteer training class tonight, because I wanted to work/volunteer at a women's shelter..and what happens? when one of the speakers/teacher talks about the affect that physical/mental abuse takes on the children..I start to cry!!! and I couldn't pull myself together, so I just excused myself and headed for the exit door..kick'n myself, hating myself for being too sensitive..telling myself how can I help other women when I can't even help myself!!!! luckily, the manager caught up with me before I got to the exit, and asked me if I would please come back tomorrow for the next class..I just mumbled "I'll try, but this hits too close to home" and left...
why am I so stupid??? I honestly thought if I could get out of my head and do something useful for others..I was so embarrassed/ashamed of myself..
Don't be too hard on yourself. I would cry too! I imagine they see a lot of people cry. It is something to cry about. I hope you plan to go back. If I were in your shoes I would see not only my opportunity to help others, but an opportunity for me to heal as well.
You are not stupid and please don't hate yourself... ever.
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Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned. ~St. Francis of Assisi
why then, was I the only one in the room crying? and heal from what? seeing my own mother take verbal/mental abuse from my dad for years, and yet stay married to him to this day? or was I crying because of seeing what my own son went threw..and his attempted suicide when he was just 15 years old..and how I blame myself for it all..
I was in a business meeting, just yesterday, and during lunch they had one of those motivational speakers and he was discussing communication skills. I actually had to bite my lip during this and welled up a bit because I have gone through some difficult things recently that I am still hurting from. It happens.
As for what to heal from ... seems you may have some ideas.
Go easy on yourself. You are trying to do the right thing and struggling a bit. Nothing to beat yourself up about.
__________________
Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned. ~St. Francis of Assisi
Hi there. It makes sense that you would cry! You are working on healing yourself and growing! Many women who come from abuse become numb to their pain...they are used to the abuse so this is why I would guess many in the room were not crying. Embrace your feelings! We are lucky today that we can feel and love deeply...both ourselves and others. Your sensitivity is a GIFT to these women. I hope you go back. Keep us posted! Heather
I joined this board just to respond to this. It's good that you are not too jaded and desensitized about all this. I work with abused foster kids every day and I still feel for them, but I am used to hearing the stories so I don't get as upset as I once did. It takes a special person to care like you. Don't beat yourself up. Take the caring and channel it forward.
Being emotional is not a flaw. Being crippled by emotions is limiting. So....embrace your feelings and move foward! Your sensitivity is not a bad thing.
so I go to my first volunteer training class tonight, because I wanted to work/volunteer at a women's shelter..and what happens? when one of the speakers/teacher talks about the affect that physical/mental abuse takes on the children..I start to cry!!! and I couldn't pull myself together, so I just excused myself and headed for the exit door..kick'n myself, hating myself for being too sensitive..telling myself how can I help other women when I can't even help myself!!!! luckily, the manager caught up with me before I got to the exit, and asked me if I would please come back tomorrow for the next class..I just mumbled "I'll try, but this hits too close to home" and left...