The process of adapting to change and loss takes energy. Grief is draining, sometimes exhausting. Some people need to "cocoon for transformation," in Pat Carnes's words, while going through grief.
We may feel more tired than usual. Our ability to function well in other areas of our life may be reduced, temporarily. We may want to hide out in the safety of our bedroom.
Grief is heavy. It can wear us down.
It's okay to be gentle with ourselves when we're gong through change and grief. Yes, we want to maintain the disciplines of recovery. But we can be compassionate with ourselves. We do not have to expect more from ourselves than we can deliver during this time. We do not even have to expect as much from ourselves as we would normally and reasonably expect.
We may need more rest, more sleep, more comfort. We may be more needy and have less to give. It is okay to accept ourselves, and our changed needs, during times of grief, stress, and change.
It is okay to allow ourselves to cocoon during times of transformation. We can surrender to the process, and trust that a new, exciting energy is being created within us.
Before long, we will take wings and fly.
God, help me accept my changed needs during times of grief, change, and loss.
Lilmz, everywhere I look I see something I need posted by you. I am so alone right now and grieving that I feel sick and lost. I am definitely cocooning and just don't have anything to give to anyone else. Still I feel like I'm supposed to keep giving. Thanks for giving me permission through your post to feel like I need to take care of myself for a bit.
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"Life doesn't come with a remote, you have to get up and change it yourself!"~~Tyler Perry
I know I need to cocoon when grieving. I'm glad to know it's OK. Many people try to draw me out and get me talking when I just need to process what has happened. I never embraced the talking part of grief management. I guess we are each different; and this passage is good for me because I feel assured that I am OK just the way I am.
