Sometimes, it is hard to stand in our own truth and trust what we know, especially when others would try to convince us otherwise.
In these cases, others may be dealing with issues of guilt and shame. They may have their own agenda. They may be immersed in denial. They would like us to believe that we do not know what we know; they would like us not to trust ourselves; they would prefer to engage us in their nonsense.
We don't have to forfeit our truth or our power to others. That is codependency.
Believing lies is dangerous. When we stop trusting our truth, when we repress our instincts, when we tell ourselves there must be something wrong with us for feeling what we feel or believing what we believe, we deal a deadly blow to our self and our health.
When we discount that important part of ourselves that knows what is the truth, we cut ourselves off from our center. We feel crazy. We get into shame, fear, and confusion. We can't get our bearings when we allow someone to pull the rug from under us.
This does not mean that we are never wrong. But we are not always wrong.
Be open. Stand in our truth. Trust what you know. And refuse to buy into denial, nonsense, bullying, or coercion that would like to take you off course.
Ask to be shown the truth, clearly - not by the person trying to manipulate or convince you, but by yourself, your Higher Power, and the Universe.
Today, I will trust my truth, my instincts, and my ability to ground myself in reality. I will not allow myself to be swayed by bullying, manipulating, games, dishonesty, or people with peculiar agendas.
I cannot tell you just how many times I have not listened to that "inner knowing" and went with what others wanted me to do. There have been so many things I have been becoming more aware of lately and I have been trusting my own gut feeling and almost every time it has been confirmed that I was right on. And when I haven't listened to that inner voice or God voice I have usually had to say to myself "oh, you WERE reading it right Daisy!!" Lately there has been a lot of confirmation of situations and unsafe people that I have been right on with.
If I am in some sort of a fear mind state then things can get distorted so I have to try and stay grounded and things generally stay pretty clear. I am only at the beginning of this and have so much to learn. I think this daily meditation of Holding Your Own is huge for me because I know that I had never known that I had truth inside of me. It grieves me that I lost all of those years but I am very thankful that I am starting to learn it now.
We codependents carry enough unearned guilt and shame over things we have done and some we even haven't! My life was fear, guilt and shame based when I came into recovery. I did really well at fighting the fear and getting through life well, but the physical stress of fighting that was difficult and the fear made me vulnerable.
That vulnerability led me to having someone in my life who fed on my fears and just turned my life into a living hell. It all became so surreal - I literally felt like my head was in a blender. I wasn't used to the blame game, cheating, lying, verbal and emotional abuse. I didn't see it for what it was and just had absolutely no tools to deal with it. I believed it everytime I was told that it was all me and even if it wasn't I started it.
I went back to that well a few times over my time in recovery and each time my tools were more and more valuable. I could see unhealthy behaviors for what they were and hold onto my truth. The difference was amazing.
This is an absolutely brilliant reminder. To thine own self be true.
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Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned. ~St. Francis of Assisi
