Hi this doll thing remind me at age 11 my parents divorce and I stay with mom and step dad both were working lived in a isolated place with no friends around of my age. Thats where the seed of codependence came in me I could not connect with them feel isolated fearful and lonely at my own home. There were two dolls in the corner kind of wood with spring if you push the head of the doll from one side it will tilt from right to left for some time. It became my past time and I also stand in front of dolls swing my own head from left to right when ever i was confuse lonely and angry it became a habit in school college and next 27 years I was people pleaser fearful not feeling my feeling unless i did meditation in 1997 my head shaking stopped but only after coming to coda I realized specially when i read this thought yester that 11 year old boy was only playmate that headshaking dolls and he imitate them to deal with his feeling feeling not fully alive caretaking and loneliness and other addiction he lives today I am alive deal with my feeling but when confuse still shakes my head Yesterday when i read i know a puzzle resolved today I have to be myself not imitate anyone feel my feeling do online coda meeting find someone to share thenks