I wish I could help.  I seem to have an allergy to drama.  It just drains me dry.  Whether it is negative or positive, I just can't tolerate the extreme highs and lows.  It isn't that I don't have really good days and really bad days, I had a bad day today.  Bit hormonal and in a bad mood.  I just walk through it, understand it, and know it will pass.  I also try to not take it out on or saturate other people with it.  I have no problem saying "I am a bit moody today", which I did, but I don't need to go through the list of negative thoughts in my head at length with someone else ... they will pass too!  Why bring them down?  Then there is the "honeymoon" phase ... really good right?  Who doesn't like that?  I love it.  But after a while I need to get back to living.  All the wonderful, special stuff isn't special anymore ... we are doing it all the time.  There is no down time, no serenity, no peace ... just high action romance.  Like I said, wonderful for a while ... but I like romance in waves so it is special.

The biggest realization for me is that no one is going to take care of me like I can.  I have had more fun in the last 7 months than I have in years because I made the decision to spoil myself.  I have been to the Grand Canyon, Stowe VT, up the coast of CA & OR, to the amusement park with the kids, numerous local road trips, air shows, facials, massages ... the list goes on.  All since last summer.  I decided I have been spinning my wheels giving to people who are ungrateful and started taking care of me.  It took a little while to get over the feeling of being selfish, but I earn every penny I spend, I don't rely on anyone else, and what I choose to do with it is my choice.  I temper it by helping those in my life that are grateful and being of service, but otherwise I come first.

That was a hard lesson, but let me tell you ... once it caught on it was magical.  I didn't have to go alone.  Often I have not been.  Friends, family ... the people I have always intended on spending more time with but don't because I am too wrapped up in a relationship.

Now that I am doing this I am not going to be very eager to give it up.  If I end up in a relationship it is going to have to be with someone outgoing, hard work - hard play.  Someone positive and centered.  I refuse, now that I have had a taste of the good life with good people who love me, to put up with anything less ever again.

For me, the key was learning to put myself first.  I had to learn to make myself happy.  Think about it, who wants to start dating someone who needs to be in a relationship to be happy?  (Not judging, been there, talking from experience).  It has taken 4 years of practice and a few trips back to a dry well ... but I am getting the swing of this thing.

I always thought I had to wait for the right guy to come along to be happy.  Now, I am going to be happy and maybe the right guy will come along .  Might as well try something new ... it has been a train wreck for a while now, can't get much worse!

Good luck!