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ITM, I am honest with myself.
(Preview)
Honesty means finding freedom through truthfulness. When I get in touch with my true feelings, I dig deeper to the root cause of my dysfunction. In Step Four, my personal inventory uncovers my character defects. In Step Five, I work with my sponsor & Higher Power to plant the seeds of healing, whe...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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350
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ITM, I am powerless over others.
(Preview)
I can badger, persuade, manipulate, cajole, shame, control, withhold, resent, or bully others. There is no true power in this. Recognising my life is unmanageable & experiencing chaos are clues I'm trying to seek power. What insanity to pursue this. Step1 is both the hope & the beginning o...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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399
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In This Moment, I feel nurtured.
(Preview)
I often didn't feel nurtured as a child. I'm powerless over others, but I have choices. Today I choose to be with healthy people. I spend time with others in recovery. I take care of myself by choosing to be with caring people. Thanks to CoDA, I'm healthy enough to make that choice. CoDA Daily Meditation...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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373
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ITM, my Higher Power cares for me.
(Preview)
"To the care of God" (Step Three) means that my Higher Power really cares about me. I'm turning my life & my will over to one who cares for me more than I cared for myself. Believing that my Higher Power protects & directs me was a giant leap of faith. Once I made the leap & became wil...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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402
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In This Moment, I live in the moment.
(Preview)
Only memories remain. No matter what my past contains, it's gone. I can't change the past, what I did, or what happened to me. My past is part of me - I can learn from it & focus on the present. Each day is a new chapter. It's up to me to fill it. With my Higher Power's guidance, I choose to let go of the pain &...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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384
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powerlessnes
(Preview)
I feel so totally powerless. I have spent 7 years trying to support my partner in his recovery and I have waited for the day we will both be o.k and all my hard work will be worth it. But reality is it is my co dependence. I am staying in a situation I am not happy in longer than I should because I a sick. It is my...
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tracy
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8
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570
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In This Moment, I have hope.
(Preview)
I had lots of dreams. I gave up on them. Life was full of problems & they were someone else's fault. Steps & meetings teach me life is how I make it. I have hope. I see grey out my window but soon I'll see green grass, pink roses & golden sunshine. Seasons change & so will I. CoDA Daily Medita...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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363
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I finished Co Dedependent No More - Going to Al-Anon next.
(Preview)
I just finished reading my Co Dependent No more book. 20 whole chapters! I can't remember the last time I was able to sit down and read a book. I'm not able to usually sit down long enough and pay attention. I bought this on audo CD and both listened to it on the road and read along in the book a the same tim...
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pappasmurf
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3
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608
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Doing What We Love
(Preview)
When is the last time you did something for yourself? Something you truly love that is just for you - something healthy. I could choose retail therapy (shopping) or a new relationship to make me feel better, but is that really going to c h a n g e anything? Maybe today I can: Meditate Exercise Take a wal...
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willing
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2
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492
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In This Moment, I live my own life.
(Preview)
Lately, I'm not being pulled into other people's business. This is a sign of my recovery. Meddling is a codependent trait I'm trying to change. People ask me to solve their problems. Although tempted, I choose to say: No. It's enabling if I rescue them. Either they find the courage to do it themselves o...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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364
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ITM, I choose how to spend my time.
(Preview)
Although other people & situations may pressure me, ultimately I make the decision how I spend my time. Not making a choice is a choice. Am I living the life I want to lead? Or am I living the way someone else thinks I should? Sometimes to say Yes I have to say No to something else. Knowing what's import...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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367
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Need a Coda mtg list in San Juan PR
(Preview)
Can't seem to get the coda.org site to work. Any help greatly appreciated!
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pml
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0
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380
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In This Moment, I love myself.
(Preview)
Even if I do not feel loving, I act as if I love myself. I get enough rest & exercise. I provide healthy, nutritious food for my body. I listen to my inner self. I nurture it & give it what it needs to heal. I stimulate my mind to learn & try new things. I listen to my spirit for the wisdom in my quiet...
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lilmzsparkles
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1
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483
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I need advice to stop my anger outbursts
(Preview)
So, my biggest problem as a codependent is the anger I have and how I get triggered to blow up. It's like I go from to 100 in a second! I can't do this to my wife or young kids. I am angry about what has happened with my wife addiction to pain killers and the huge fincial burden and lost trust. It's only bee...
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pappasmurf
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1
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751
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I'm Hurting Bad!!!!!!
(Preview)
Today I went to pick up my daughter she is 15 years old and she told me that she did not want to go with me. Her mother was smiling as this was going on. My daughter was crying. Mom and I have not been together for 10 years. It hurt me soooo much to hear my daughter say this. She is not doing well in school and I kno...
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Sad One
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6
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774
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ITM, I have healthy relationships.
(Preview)
CoDA changed more than my love life. I learned how to have healthier relationships with my parents, siblings, friends, colleagues, & others. As time went on, I realised they hadn't changed; I had. Rather than having to change the world to fit my vision for it, I could adjust my vision to see the bea...
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lilmzsparkles
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1
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405
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ITM, a new way is better.
(Preview)
The needier I am, the more I set myself up for rejection. Now I know this, I can move to change. The truth is the old way doesn't work. The new way is better. First, I recognise I have a problem &, with the help of my Higher Power, I begin to work to correct it. I am blessed to have The Twelve Steps. CoDA Dail...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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396
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In This Moment, I love life.
(Preview)
It wasn't always so. When I remembered my past, I left out a lot of the happy times. I was there but not there. I spent so much time thinking & talking about past resentments & projecting potential problems that I was sleepwalking through the present. Today, I live in the present. I like who I am &...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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358
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How to find a therapist
(Preview)
I am codependent. I am 48 years old and I discovered that there was a name for this about 3 years ago. I always thought it was a term reserved for those from alcoholic families. In my family it did not stem from alcoholism, but a hypercritical environment with a father with an explosive temper. I thou...
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mime
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4
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617
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In This Moment, I feel sane & serene.
(Preview)
The first time I faced Step Two, I had trouble believing a Higher Power could change my life. Yet, I saw lives that had been transformed. In the rooms, I heard people share their lives had been as desolate as mine. Yet, they seemed to have something I did not. I came to believe that whatever caused the chan...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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357
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how does one stay in a long term relationship when things become difficult?
(Preview)
I'm in a 15 year relationship that is going backwards. It is causing me a lot of guilt because I entertain ideas of leaving or taking a break. We never lived together for a few reasons and money is a big one. We couldn't afford to live together. We both met having our own apartments and I was not and am n...
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lori4nn
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5
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830
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In This Moment, I have choices.
(Preview)
I don't have to live from the script where I play the victim. I can write my script in a way that is healthy for me. I am more likely to evaluate the situation as it is happening, calmly view the options available to me, & make a choice. I have the freedom to improvise. I am living the most perfect life I am...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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362
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Book Study: Codependent No More - Chapter 14
(Preview)
Anger "What is it about me you hate so much?" a man asked his wife six months into his sobriety. "Everything!" she replied with a glare. Everyone feels anger. Sometimes we work through it quickly and move on. Codependents tend to just stay angry. We may feel guilty for it and n...
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willing
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3
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4024
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In This Moment, I have spirituality.
(Preview)
My life was unmanageable. I had no goals, no insights. I struggled with decision-making. Before CoDA, I had religion. Now, I have spirituality which sustains me on a daily basis. I have a Higher Power to guide, support, & listen to me. My spirituality & Higher Power have lifted a great burden...
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lilmzsparkles
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1
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389
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In This Moment, I'm God's child.
(Preview)
I'm beautiful as is. I don't need to change to please the world. I continue to grow, at my own pace, in peace & understanding. I am no longer lost as before. Now, I have a Fellowship which understands & cares about me. I can talk things over with my sponsor. I don't have to face my feelings alone. I h...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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383
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ITM, I let go of past negative beliefs.
(Preview)
My negativity used to stop me from loving myself & others. Now, when old beliefs creep into my thoughts, I remember the work I did in Step4. I remind myself of how much I've grown in recovery. I stop, own my behaviour, & make positive changes. Through experiencing change, I know in my heart that...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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387
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Changing - One Day at a Time
(Preview)
I have been thinking about this topic for a while and thought I would put it out here and see if it catches on. I would like to focus on what is changing in our lives in regards to our learning to focus on ourselves. How are we controlling others less and ourselves more? How are we taking care of ourselves?...
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willing
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4
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1021
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Distance in Relationships (Avoidance Pattern)
(Preview)
Hi, I am fascinated by the Recovery Patterns of codependence. I am amazed at how many of them describe my own behaviors. For my contribution to an active forum, I will post a different pattern of codependency every few days. I encourage everyone to share on each topic. Sharing will help us all....
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nice4ever
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11
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3743
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In This Moment, I am alone.
(Preview)
That's ok. It's God's plan for me. I grew up surrounded by people yet felt lonely. Now I can grow up emotionally & spiritually. I'm re-parenting myself by meeting my own needs. That means being the best me I can be. No more people-pleasing to gain acceptance. No more lies & cover-ups to meet som...
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lilmzsparkles
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5
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660
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In This Moment, gratitude works.
(Preview)
A few years ago, I read a book that said the best prayer is a gratitude prayer. Since that day, my prayers always start with, "Thank you, God." It works! When I lost my job. I started a daily prayer thanking God for the new job I knew would come. Despite my being unemployed, I had serenity becaus...
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lilmzsparkles
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0
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346
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