Miracles In Progress Codependents Anonymous Group - Miracles In Progress Codependents Anonymous Group

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

A magical potion is available to us today. That potion is called acceptance. We are asked to accept many things: ourselves, as we are; our feelings, needs, desires, choices, and current status of being. Other people, as they are. The status of our relationships with them. Problems. Blessings. Fina...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

WoW!!! SSSsshhhhhhh..... Is it really your 60th!!!!! Beautiful age of fulfillment, I hope :D A decade of love, blooming & the best to come as you so rightfully deserve. Have a gorgeous day being good to you & know you are loved, loving & lovable! Never alone again, Sister :) Yours in recov...

daisy31 · daisy31

Hello everyone. As you can tell I am such a newbie to alanon. I don't see many people asking questions in this group but I think that it is probably fine to do so? I have been attending alanon for about 3 months and I have really enjoyed it. I have learned so much and I am getting ready to start working the s...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

The relationship just wasn't working out, and I wanted it to so badly. I kept thinking if I just made myself look prettier, if I just tried to be a more loving, kind person, then he would love me. I turned myself inside out to be something better, when all along, who I was was okay. I just couldn't see what I w...

nice4ever · nice4ever

Hi, I am fascinated by the Recovery Patterns of codependence. I am amazed at how many of them describe my own behaviors. John (founder of MIP) has requested more activity on this CoDA board. For my contribution, every few days, I will post a different pattern of codependency. I encourage every...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Feeling angry - and, sometimes, the act of blaming - is a natural and necessary part of accepting loss and change - of grieving. We can allow ourselves and others to become angry as we move from denial toward acceptance. As we come to terms with loss and change, we may blame our higher Power, others, or ou...

odaat · odaat

Hi I've just found you... so i thought I'd explain why I feel I need Coda. I have been using Alanon properly since around 2003. At first I absorbed it all like a sponge. My husband was still active then and I was a mess. I found it hard to accept help but it also knew it was help that i needed. So all good so far lo...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

To let ourselves wholly grieve our losses is how we surrender to the process of life and recovery. Some experts, like Patrick Carnes, call the Twelve Steps "a program for dealing with our losses, a program for dealing with our grief." How do we grieve? Awkwardly. Imperfectly. Usually wit...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

We're striving for acceptance in recovery - acceptance of our past, other people, our present circumstances, and ourselves. Acceptance brings peace, healing, and freedom - the freedom to take care of ourselves. Acceptance is not a one step process. Before we achieve acceptance, we go toward it in...

odaat · odaat

When does self caring become selfish.....? I have an illness that people don't see......and therefore either people don't accept it or don't remember it's there..... I have CFS and fibromyalgia, and cervical spondylosis. I keep alot of the symptoms at bay through an avoidance diet. If I have dai...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Open ourselves to the love that is available to us. We do not have to limit our sources of love. God and the Universe have an unlimited supply of what we need, including love. When we are open to receiving love, we will begin to receive it. It may come from the most surprising places, including from within...

nice4ever · nice4ever

Hi, I am fascinated by the Recovery Patterns of codependence. I am amazed at how many of them describe my own behaviors. For my contribution to this forum, every few days, I will post a different pattern of codependency. I encourage everyone to share on each topic. Sharing will help us all. Than...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. —Step Eleven of Al Anon "... praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out" mean...

shrinkingviolet · shrinkingviolet

how do you go about looking for a therapist that deals with ACOA/Coda issues?

Danielle · Danielle

We cannot simultaneously set a boundary and take care of another person's feelings. It's impossible; the two acts contradict. What a tremendous asset to have compassion for others! How difficult that same quality can make it to set boundaries! It's good to care about other people and their feeling...

daisy31 · daisy31

Hey all. I have a little dilemma right now, however maybe I need to reframe it into something positive and think of it as a new learning experience. Since I am new to learning about codependance and that I am codependant, I have really been much more aware of my friendships. Particularly in one wher...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

... in thy book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me when as yet there was none of them. —Ps. 139:16 Some people believe that each of our days were planned, Divinely Ordered, before we were born. God knew, they say, and planned exactly what was to transpire. Others suggest we...

willing · willing

"Whatever satellite goals may be found in life, the singular intent is always the soul's process of becoming one with the Self and God. Be comforted and walk your life in Light and trust, for nothing will come to you that is not meant to be." -Emmanuel's Book Step Eleven: Sought through pra...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Trust yourself. Trust what you know. Sometimes, it is hard to stand in our own truth and trust what we know, especially when others would try to convince us otherwise. In these cases, others may be dealing with issues of guilt and shame. They may have their own agenda. They may be immersed in denial. The...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

There is an important message for us first thing every day. Often, once we get started with the day, we may not listen as closely to life and ourselves as we do in those still moments when we first awaken. An ideal time to listen to ourselves is when we are laying quietly, our defenses are down, and we're op...

SugarBee · SugarBee

I want to know what everyone does when they're feeling alone. I had made plans for this week which were cancelled, and so I had some time off without much to do. My friends are busy, and I understand that. I caught up on a few things and used the time in a reasonably productive way, but now I am feeling so l...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Hi, I have been on and off at times since this board started not fully understanding the gravity of being codependent. It hit me a few weeks ago now, that I let my recovery in Overeaters anon go to the way side. For myself, my program includes eating 3 healthy meals a day and abstaining from foods that my b...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

What's a codependent? The answer's easy. They're some of the most loving, caring people I know. —Beyond Codependency We don't need to limit an inventory of ourselves to the negatives. Focusing only on what's wrong is a core issue in our codependency. Honestly, fearlessly, ask: "What's righ...

willing · willing

Usually those of us who enter a 12 step recovery program are not at our best ... We are beaten down and hurting so badly that we are ready to grab onto anything to make it stop. For years we may have been grabbing onto substances, behaviors, or people to make this pain go away. Suddenly we are given a gift...

lilmzsparkles · lilmzsparkles

Sometimes it helps to understand that we may be receiving a payoff from relationships that cause us distress. The relationship may be feeding into our helplessness or our martyr role. Maybe the relationships feeds our need to be needed, enhancing our self-esteem by allowing us to feel in control or...

John · John

Sometimes in relationships, we come to a point where we realize that the relationship has become unhealthy and destructive to our emotional, physical, or spiritual well being. It is a painful realization, and often we try many things to try to make things work and hold on a lot longer than perhaps int...

nice4ever · nice4ever

Hi, I am fascinated by the Recovery Patterns of codependence. I am amazed at how many of them describe my own behaviors. John (founder of MIP) has requested more activity on this CoDA board. For my contribution, every few days, I will post a different pattern of codependency. I encourage everyo...

willing · willing

I am a rule follower. When the program or any other thing says "do this" or "don't do that" I take it so literally and seem to miss the point. Now that isn't to say that I don't break the rules on occasion, and in the case of taking other people's inventory I have fallen short. I hav...

daisy31 · daisy31

Hello all. I am a little embarrassed to write this but I am going to anyway. I have noticed that I really seem to need everyone's approval in my life. The thing I am really noticing is that I use facebook to gain approval for myself. I know it sounds silly to you all. This is what I do. I will write a stat...

willing · willing

Recently I was turning a problem over in my mind. It was an unavoidable problem, but it brought up a pretty big challenge that in my past I would have gotten so stressed about it would make me sick. Now I am not making myself sick. I turn it over in my mind, look at all the options, the outcome doesn't seem...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Daily Meditation ~ Acceptance (Preview) A magical potion is available to us today. That potion is called acceptance. We are asked to accept many things: ourselves, as we are; our feelings, needs, desires, choices, and current status of being. Other people, as they are. The status of our relationships with them. Problems. Blessings. Fina...	lilmzsparkles	5	752	Nov 10, 2011 by odaat
	Happy Birthday, Leandra!!! XXXXXX (Preview) WoW!!! SSSsshhhhhhh..... Is it really your 60th!!!!! Beautiful age of fulfillment, I hope :D A decade of love, blooming & the best to come as you so rightfully deserve. Have a gorgeous day being good to you & know you are loved, loving & lovable! Never alone again, Sister :) Yours in recov...	lilmzsparkles	4	674	Nov 9, 2011 by Leandra
	I have a question (Preview) Hello everyone. As you can tell I am such a newbie to alanon. I don't see many people asking questions in this group but I think that it is probably fine to do so? I have been attending alanon for about 3 months and I have really enjoyed it. I have learned so much and I am getting ready to start working the s...	daisy31	5	756	Nov 8, 2011 by tracy
	Daily Meditation ~ Let's Make a Deal (Preview) The relationship just wasn't working out, and I wanted it to so badly. I kept thinking if I just made myself look prettier, if I just tried to be a more loving, kind person, then he would love me. I turned myself inside out to be something better, when all along, who I was was okay. I just couldn't see what I w...	lilmzsparkles	3	398	Nov 7, 2011 by nice4ever
	Decisions without regard to the consequences (Compliance Pattern) (Preview) Hi, I am fascinated by the Recovery Patterns of codependence. I am amazed at how many of them describe my own behaviors. John (founder of MIP) has requested more activity on this CoDA board. For my contribution, every few days, I will post a different pattern of codependency. I encourage every...	nice4ever	3	1596	Nov 7, 2011 by odaat
	Daily Meditation ~ Anger (Preview) Feeling angry - and, sometimes, the act of blaming - is a natural and necessary part of accepting loss and change - of grieving. We can allow ourselves and others to become angry as we move from denial toward acceptance. As we come to terms with loss and change, we may blame our higher Power, others, or ou...	lilmzsparkles	1	414	Nov 6, 2011 by odaat
	service in Alanon (Preview) Hi I've just found you... so i thought I'd explain why I feel I need Coda. I have been using Alanon properly since around 2003. At first I absorbed it all like a sponge. My husband was still active then and I was a mess. I found it hard to accept help but it also knew it was help that i needed. So all good so far lo...	odaat	4	700	Nov 3, 2011 by odaat
	Daily Meditation ~ The Grief Process (Preview) To let ourselves wholly grieve our losses is how we surrender to the process of life and recovery. Some experts, like Patrick Carnes, call the Twelve Steps "a program for dealing with our losses, a program for dealing with our grief." How do we grieve? Awkwardly. Imperfectly. Usually wit...	lilmzsparkles	1	578	Nov 3, 2011 by odaat
	Daily Meditation ~ Transformation Through Grief (Preview) We're striving for acceptance in recovery - acceptance of our past, other people, our present circumstances, and ourselves. Acceptance brings peace, healing, and freedom - the freedom to take care of ourselves. Acceptance is not a one step process. Before we achieve acceptance, we go toward it in...	lilmzsparkles	1	635	Nov 3, 2011 by odaat
	when does self caring become selfish? (Preview) When does self caring become selfish.....? I have an illness that people don't see......and therefore either people don't accept it or don't remember it's there..... I have CFS and fibromyalgia, and cervical spondylosis. I keep alot of the symptoms at bay through an avoidance diet. If I have dai...	odaat	4	589	Nov 3, 2011 by odaat
	Daily Meditation ~ Opening Ourselves to Love (Preview) Open ourselves to the love that is available to us. We do not have to limit our sources of love. God and the Universe have an unlimited supply of what we need, including love. When we are open to receiving love, we will begin to receive it. It may come from the most surprising places, including from within...	lilmzsparkles	4	757	Oct 31, 2011 by odaat
	Help & Advice (Control Pattern) (Preview) Hi, I am fascinated by the Recovery Patterns of codependence. I am amazed at how many of them describe my own behaviors. For my contribution to this forum, every few days, I will post a different pattern of codependency. I encourage everyone to share on each topic. Sharing will help us all. Than...	nice4ever	2	602	Oct 31, 2011 by odaat
	Daily Meditation ~ Step Eleven (Preview) Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. —Step Eleven of Al Anon "... praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out" mean...	lilmzsparkles	3	592	Oct 31, 2011 by odaat
	finding a good therapist.. (Preview) how do you go about looking for a therapist that deals with ACOA/Coda issues?	shrinkingviolet	1	412	Oct 28, 2011 by odaat
	Daily Meditation ~ Taking Care of Ourselves. (Preview) We cannot simultaneously set a boundary and take care of another person's feelings. It's impossible; the two acts contradict. What a tremendous asset to have compassion for others! How difficult that same quality can make it to set boundaries! It's good to care about other people and their feeling...	Danielle	9	1029	Oct 28, 2011 by odaat
	I am in a friendship dillema :( Thoughts? (Preview) Hey all. I have a little dilemma right now, however maybe I need to reframe it into something positive and think of it as a new learning experience. Since I am new to learning about codependance and that I am codependant, I have really been much more aware of my friendships. Particularly in one wher...	daisy31	6	601	Oct 26, 2011 by daisy31
	Daily Meditation ~ Letting Go of the Past (Preview) ... in thy book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me when as yet there was none of them. —Ps. 139:16 Some people believe that each of our days were planned, Divinely Ordered, before we were born. God knew, they say, and planned exactly what was to transpire. Others suggest we...	lilmzsparkles	0	416	Oct 25, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Step Study - Step 11 (Preview) "Whatever satellite goals may be found in life, the singular intent is always the soul's process of becoming one with the Self and God. Be comforted and walk your life in Light and trust, for nothing will come to you that is not meant to be." -Emmanuel's Book Step Eleven: Sought through pra...	willing	1	4335	Oct 25, 2011 by willing
	Daily Meditation ~ Holding Your Own (Preview) Trust yourself. Trust what you know. Sometimes, it is hard to stand in our own truth and trust what we know, especially when others would try to convince us otherwise. In these cases, others may be dealing with issues of guilt and shame. They may have their own agenda. They may be immersed in denial. The...	lilmzsparkles	2	401	Oct 24, 2011 by willing
	Daily Meditation ~ Morning Cues (Preview) There is an important message for us first thing every day. Often, once we get started with the day, we may not listen as closely to life and ourselves as we do in those still moments when we first awaken. An ideal time to listen to ourselves is when we are laying quietly, our defenses are down, and we're op...	lilmzsparkles	0	683	Oct 24, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Feeling Alone (Preview) I want to know what everyone does when they're feeling alone. I had made plans for this week which were cancelled, and so I had some time off without much to do. My friends are busy, and I understand that. I caught up on a few things and used the time in a reasonably productive way, but now I am feeling so l...	SugarBee	11	785	Oct 22, 2011 by Leandra
	Understanding More Now (Preview) Hi, I have been on and off at times since this board started not fully understanding the gravity of being codependent. It hit me a few weeks ago now, that I let my recovery in Overeaters anon go to the way side. For myself, my program includes eating 3 healthy meals a day and abstaining from foods that my b...	Tracey C	3	476	Oct 20, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Daily Meditation ~ Our Good Points (Preview) What's a codependent? The answer's easy. They're some of the most loving, caring people I know. —Beyond Codependency We don't need to limit an inventory of ourselves to the negatives. Focusing only on what's wrong is a core issue in our codependency. Honestly, fearlessly, ask: "What's righ...	lilmzsparkles	0	371	Oct 20, 2011 by lilmzsparkles
	Beginning the work (Preview) Usually those of us who enter a 12 step recovery program are not at our best ... We are beaten down and hurting so badly that we are ready to grab onto anything to make it stop. For years we may have been grabbing onto substances, behaviors, or people to make this pain go away. Suddenly we are given a gift...	willing	4	696	Oct 19, 2011 by willing
	Daily Meditation ~ Payoffs from Destructive Relationships (Preview) Sometimes it helps to understand that we may be receiving a payoff from relationships that cause us distress. The relationship may be feeding into our helplessness or our martyr role. Maybe the relationships feeds our need to be needed, enhancing our self-esteem by allowing us to feel in control or...	lilmzsparkles	2	863	Oct 19, 2011 by Leandra
	Letting Go of the one you love... (Preview) Sometimes in relationships, we come to a point where we realize that the relationship has become unhealthy and destructive to our emotional, physical, or spiritual well being. It is a painful realization, and often we try many things to try to make things work and hold on a lot longer than perhaps int...	John	19	4568	Oct 19, 2011 by Freya
	Perceived as Unselfish (Denial Pattern) (Preview) Hi, I am fascinated by the Recovery Patterns of codependence. I am amazed at how many of them describe my own behaviors. John (founder of MIP) has requested more activity on this CoDA board. For my contribution, every few days, I will post a different pattern of codependency. I encourage everyo...	nice4ever	4	757	Oct 19, 2011 by Freya
	Taking other people's inventory (Preview) I am a rule follower. When the program or any other thing says "do this" or "don't do that" I take it so literally and seem to miss the point. Now that isn't to say that I don't break the rules on occasion, and in the case of taking other people's inventory I have fallen short. I hav...	willing	1	1362	Oct 19, 2011 by Freya
	Need others approval on FB (Preview) Hello all. I am a little embarrassed to write this but I am going to anyway. I have noticed that I really seem to need everyone's approval in my life. The thing I am really noticing is that I use facebook to gain approval for myself. I know it sounds silly to you all. This is what I do. I will write a stat...	daisy31	7	861	Oct 19, 2011 by Freya
	Seeing what is right there ... (Preview) Recently I was turning a problem over in my mind. It was an unavoidable problem, but it brought up a pretty big challenge that in my past I would have gotten so stressed about it would make me sick. Now I am not making myself sick. I turn it over in my mind, look at all the options, the outcome doesn't seem...	willing	2	547	Oct 18, 2011 by willing
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